he has given you, fhou'd found you an Alarm at midnight; then open your Curtains with a Face as pale as my Apron, and cry out with a hollow Voice, What doft thou do in Bed with this fpindle-fhank'd Fellow ? any LADY Why wilt thou needs have it to be my Hufband? he never had reason to be offended at me. I always lov'd him while he was living, and fhould prefer him to any Man, were he fo ftill. Mr. Tinfel is indeed very idle in his Talk, but I fancy, Abigal, a difcreet Woman might reform him. A BIGA L. That's a likely matter indeed! did you ever hear of a Woman who had power over a Man, when she was his Wife, that had none while fhe was his Mistress! Oh! there's nothing in the World improves a Man in his Complaifance like Marriage !TM LADY He is indeed, at prefent, too familiar in his Converfation. ABIGAL. Familiar! Madam, in troth, he's downright rude. LADY But that you know, Abigal, fhows he has no Diffimulation in him Then he is apt to jeft a little too much upon grave Subjects. ABIGAL. Grave Subjects! he jefts upon the Church. LADY. But that you know, Abigal, may be only to fhew his Wit talkative. ABIGAL. Talkative d'ye call it! he's downright impertinent. LADY. But that you know, Abigal, is a fign he has been us'd us'd to good Company positive. Then indeed he is very ABIGA L. Pofitive! why, he contradicts you in every thing you fay. LADY. But then you know, Abigal, he has been educated at the Inns of Court. ABIGA L. A bleffed education indeed! it has made him forget his Catechifm! Let him alone, Abigal, so long as he does not call me My dear Wife, there's no harm done. TINSEL. I have been moft ridiculously diverted fince I left you - your fervants have made a convert of my booby. His head is fo fill'd with this foolish story of a Drummer, that I expect the rogue will be afraid hereafter to go upon a meffage by moon-light. LADY Ah, Mr. Tinfel, what a loss of billet-doux would that be to many a fine lady! ABIGA L. Then you ftill believe this to be a foolish story? I thought my Lady had told you, that she had heard it herself. Why, you would not persuade us out of our fenfes. TINSEL. Ha, ha, ha! ABIGA L. There's manners for you, Madam. [Afide LADY. Admirably rally'd that laugh is unanswerable! now I'll be hang'd if you could forbear being witty upon me, if I fhould tell you I heard it no longer ago than last night. Fancy! TINSEL. LADY. But what if I fhould tell you my maid was with me! TINSEL. Vapours! vapours! pray, my dear Widow, will you answer me one question? - had you ever this noise of a Drum in your head, all the while your husband was living? LADY. And pray, Mr. Tinfel, will you let me ask you another question; do you think we can hear in the country, as well as you do in town? TINSE L. Believe me, Madam, I could prescribe you a cure for these imaginations. ABIGA L. Don't tell my Lady of imaginations, Sir, I have heard it myself. TINSEL. Hark thee, child art thou not an old maid? Sir, if I am, it is my own fault. TINSEL. Whims! freeks! megrims! indeed Mrs. Abigal.. ABIGAL Marry, Sir, by your talk one would believe you thought every thing that was good is a megrim. LADY. Why truly I don't very well understand what you mean by your doctrine to me in the garden juft now, that every thing we faw was made by chance. ABIGA L. A very pretty fubject indeed for a lover to divert his miftrefs with.. LADY. But I fuppofe that was only a tafte of the converfation you would entertain me with after marriage.! TINSEL. Oh, I fhall then have time to read you fuch lectures of motions, atoms, and nature - that you shall learn to think as freely as the best of us, and be convinc'd in less than a month, that all about us is chance work. You are a very complaifant perfon indeed; and fo you would make your court to me, by perfuading me that I was made by chance! Ha, ha, ha! well faid, my dear! why, faith, thou wert a very lucky hit, that's certain. LADYA Pray, Mr. Tinfel, where did you learn this odd way of talking? Ah, Widow, 'tis your country innocence makes you think it an odd way of talking. LADY. LADY. Tho' you give no credit to ftories of apparitions, I hope you believe there are fuch things as fpirits! Simplicity! TINSEL.: ABIGA L. I fancy you don't believe women have fouls, d'ye Sir? Foolish enough! TINSE L. LADY. I vow, Mr. Tinfel, I'm afraid malicious people will say I'm in love with an Atheist. TINSEL: Oh, my dear, that's an old fashion'd word Free-thinker, child. ABIGA L. I am sure you are a free speaker. LADY. I'm a Really, Mr. Tinfel, confidering that you are so fine a Gentleman, I'm amaz'd where you got all this learning! I wonder it has not spoil'd your breeding. TINSEL. To tell you the truth, I have not time to look into these dry matters myself, but I am convinc'd by four or five learned men, whom I fometimes overhear at a Coffee-house I frequent, that our forefathers were a pack of affes, that the world has been in an error for fome thousands of years, and that all the people upon earth, excepting those two or three worthy Gentlemen, are impos'd upon, cheated, bubbled, abus'd, bamboozl'd ABIGA L. Madam, how can you hear fuch a profligate? he talks like the London prodigal. LADY. Why really, I'm a thinking, if there be no fuch things VOL. II. I as |