much learning as he, and I met the ghoft, I'd tell him his own! but alack what can one of us poor men do with a Spirit, that can neither write nor read? BUTLE R. Thou art always cracking and boasting, Peter; thou doft not know what mifchief it might do thee, if such a filly dog as thee fhould offer to speak to it. For ought I know, he might flea thee alive, and make parchment. of thy skin to cover his Drum with. GARDINER. A fiddleftick! tell not me--- - I fear nothing; not I! I never did harm in my life, I never committed murder. BUTLER. I verily believe thee, keep thy temper, Peter; after fupper we'll drink each of us a double mug, and then let come what will. GARDINER. Why that's well faid John, an honest man that is not quite fober, has nothing to fear---- Here's to ye----why how if he shou'd come this minute, here wou'd I ftand. Ha! what noife is that? BUTLER and COACHMAN.. Ha! where? GARDINER. The devil! the devil! Oh no, 'tis Mrs. Abiga'.. BUTLER. Ay faith! 'tis fhe; 'tis Mrs. Abigal! a good mistake!: 'tis Mrs.. Abigal. Enter A BIGA L.. ABIGA L. Here are your drunken fots for you! Is this a time to beguzzling, when gentry are come to the house! why don't you lay your cloth? How come you out of the tables? Why are not you at work in your garden? GAR GARDINER. Why, yonder's the fine Londoner and Madam fetching a walk together, and me-thought they look'd as if they fhould fay they had rather have my room than my company. BUT LE R. And fo forfooth being all three met together, we are doing our endeavours to drink this fame Drummer out of our heads. GARDINER. For you must know, Mrs. Abigal, we are all of opinion that one can't be a match for him, unless one be as drunk as a Drum. COACH MÁ N. I am refolved to give Madam warning to hire herself another coachman; for I came to ferve my Master, d'ye fee, while he was alive, but do fuppofe that he has no further occafion for a coach, now he walks. BUTLER. Truly, Mrs. Abigal, I muft needs fay, that this fame Spirit is a very odd fort of a body, after all, to fright Madam and his old fervants at this rate. GARDINER. And truly, Mrs. Abigal, I must needs fay, I ferv'd my Mafter contentedly, while he was living; but I will ferve no man living (that is, no Man that is not living) with-our double wages. ABIGA L. Ay, 'tis fuch cowards as you that go about with idleftories to difgrace the houfe, and bring fo many Strangers about it; you firft frighten your felves, and then your neighbours. GARDINER. Frighten'd! I fcorn your words. Frighten'd quoth-a! ABIGA L. What you fot! are you grown pot-valiant? GAR GARDINER. Frightned with a Drum! that's a good one! it will do us no harm, I'll answer for it. It will bring no bloodfhed along with it, take my word. It founds as like a train-band Drum as ever I heard in my life. BUTLER. Pr'ythee, Peter, don't be fo prefumptuous. ABIGA L. Well, these drunken rogues take it as I could wish.. GARDINER. [Afide. I fcorn to be frightned, now I am in for't; if old Dub. a-dub fhou'd come into the room, I wou'd take him---BUTLER. Pr'ythee hold thy tongue. GARDINER. I would take him---- [The Drum beats, the Gard. en [deavours to get off, and falls.. BUTLER and COACHMAN.. Speak to it, Mrs. Abigal. GARDINER. Spare my life, and take all I have. COACH MAN. Make off, make off, good Butler, and let us go hide our felves in the cellar. ABIGAL Sola. A BIGA L. [They all run off. So, now the coaft is clear, I may venture to call out my Drummer.---- But first let me fhut the door, left we be furpriz'd. Mr. Fantome, Mr. Fantome! [He beats.] Nay, nay, pray come out, the enemy's fled---I must speak with you immediately--- don't stay to beat a parley. [The back Scene opens, and difcovers Fantome with a Drum. FAN FANTOME. Dear Mrs. Nabby, I have overheard all that has been faid, and find thou haft manag'd this thing fo well, that I could take thee in my arms, and kifs thee---- if my Drum did not stand in my way. ABIGA L. Well, O'my confcience, you are the merrieft ghost! and the very picture of Sir George Truman. FANTOM E. There you flatter me, Mrs. Abigal: Sir George had that freshness in his looks, that we Men of the town cannot come up to. ABIGA L. Oh! Death may have alter'd you, you know----befides, you must confider, you loft a great deal of blood in the battle.. FANTOM E. Ay, that's right; let me look never fo pale, this cutt crofs my forehead will keep me in countenance. ABIGA L. 'Tis just fuch a one as my Master receiv'd from a curfed. French trooper, as my Lady's letter inform'd her. FANTOM E. It happens luckily that this fuit of cloaths of Sir George's fits me fo well,--- I think I can't fail hitting the air of a Man with whom I was fo long acquainted ABIGA E. You are the very Man---I vow I almost start when I look upon you. FANTOM E. But what good will this do me, if I must remain invifible? ABIGA L. Pray what good did your being visible do you? The fair Mr. Fantome thought no Woman cou'd withstand him----But when you were feen by my Lady in your proper proper Perfon, after she had taken a full furvey of you, and heard all the pretty things you cou'd fay, the very civilly difmifs'd you for the fake of this empty, noisy creature Tinfel. She fancies you have been gone from hence this fortnight. FANTOME. Why really I love thy Lady fo well, that tho' I had no hopes of gaining her for my felf, I cou'd not bear to fee her given to another, efpecially fuch a wretch as Tinfel. A BIGA L. Well, tell me truly Mr. Fantome, have you not agreat opinion of my fidelity to my dear Lady, that I would not fuffer her to be deluded in this manner, for lefs than a thousand pound? FANTOM E. Thou art always remembring me of my promise---thou shalt have it, if thou canft bring our project to bear; do'ft not know that ftories of ghosts and apparitions generally end in a pot of money? ABIGA L. Why, truly now Mr. Fantome, I fhou'd think my felf a very bad Woman, if I had done what I do, for a farthing lefs. FANTOM E. Dear Abigal, how I admire thy virtue! ABIGA L. No, no, Mr. Fantome, I defy the worst of my ene mies to fay I love mischief for mifchief fake. FANTO ME. But is thy Lady perfuaded that I am the ghost of her deceafed husband? ABIGA L. I endeavour to make her believe fo, and tell her every time your Drum rattles, that her husband is chiding her for entertaining this new lower. FAN |