ABIGA L. Then you ftill believe this to be a foolish ftory? I thought my Lady had told you, that fhe had heard it herself. Why, you would not perfuade us out of our senses? Admirably rally'd! that laugh is unanswerable! now I'll be hang'd if you could forbear being witty. upon me, if I fhould tell you I heard it no longer ago than last night. Fancy! TINSE L. LADY. But what if I fhould tell you my maid was with me! TINSE L. Vapours! vapours! pray, my dear Widow, will you anfwer me one question? had you ever this noise of a Drum in your head, all the while your husband was living? LADY. And pray, Mr. Tinfel, will you let me ask you ano. ther queftion; do you think we can hear in the country, as well as you do in town? TINSE L. Believe me, Madam, I could prescribe you a cure for these imaginations. ABIGA L. Don't tell my Lady of imaginations, Sir, I have heard it my felf. TINSE L. Whims! freaks! megrims! indeed Mrs. Abigal. Marry, Sir, by your talk one would believe you thought every thing that was good is a megrim. LADY Why truly I don't very well understand what you mean by your doctrine to me in the garden just now, that every thing we faw was made by chance. ABIGA L. A very pretty subject indeed for a lover to divert his miftrefs with. LADY. But I fuppofe that was only a taste of the conversation would entertain me with after marriage. you TINSE L. you. Oh, I fhall then have time to rea you fuch lectures of motions, atoms, and nature - that fhall learn to think as freely as the best of us, and be convinc'd in less than a month, that all about us is chance-work. LADY. You are a very complaifant perfon indeed; and fo you would make your court to me, by perfuading me that I was made by chance! TINSE L. Ha, ha, ha! well faid, my dear! why, faith, thou wert a very lucky hit, that's certain! LADY Pray, Mr. Tinfel, where did you learn this odd way of talking? TINSE L. Ah, Widow, 'tis your country innocence makes you think it an odd way of talking. LADY. LADY. Tho' you give no credit to ftories of apparitions, I hope you believe there are fuch things as fpirits! Simplicity! TINSE L. ABIGA L. I fancy you don't believe women have fouls, d'ye Sir? I vow, Mr. Tinfel, I'm afraid malicious people will fay I'm in love with an Atheist. TINSE L. Oh, my dear, that's an old fashion'd word--- I'm a Free-thinker, child. A BIGA L. I am fure you are a free speaker. LADY. Really, Mr, Tinfel, confidering that you are fo fine a Gentleman, I'm amaz'd where you got all this learning! I wonder it has not spoil'd your breeding. TINSE L. To tell you the truth, I have not time to look into thefe dry matters myself, but I am convinc'd by four or five learned men, whom I fometimes over-hear at a Coffeehouse I frequent, that our fore-fathers were a pack of affes,that the world has been in an error for fome thousands of years, and that all the people upon earth, excepting thofe two or three worthy Gentlemen, are impos'd upon, cheated, bubbled, abus'd, bamboozl'd---- ABIGA L. Madam, how can you hear fuch a profligate? he talks like the London prodigal. LADY. Why really, I'm a thinking, if there be no fuch things VOL. II. as fpirits, a woman has no occafion for marryingfhe need not be afraid to lie by her felf. TINSEL. Ah! my dear! are husbands good for nothing but to frighten away fpirits? doft thou think I could not inftruct thee in feveral other comforts of inatrimony? LADY. Ah! but you are a man of so much knowledge that you would always be laughing at my ignorance---- you learned men are so apt to defpife.one! TINSE L. No, Child! I'd teach thee my principles, thou should'ft be as wife as I am---in a week's time. LADY. Do you think your principles would make a woman the better wife? TINSE L. Pr'ythee, Widow, don't be queer. LADY. I love a gay temper, but I would not have you rally things that are serious. TINSE L. Well enough faith! where's the jeft of rallying any thing else! ABIGA L. Ah, Madam, did you ever hear Mr. Fantome talk at - this rate? TIN SE L. [Afide. But where's this ghoft! the fon of a whore of a Drummer? I'd fain hear him methinks. A BIGA L. Pray, Madam, don't fuffer him to give the Ghoft fuch ill language, efpecially when you have reafon to believe it is my master. TINSE L. That's well enough faith, Nab; dost thou think thy mafter mafter is fo unreasonable, as to continue his claim to his Relict after his bones are laid? Pray, Widow, remember the words of your contract, you have fulfill'd them to a tittle--- did not you marry Sir George to the tune of, 'till' death us do part? LADY. I must not hear Sir George's memory treated in fo flight a manner--- this fellow must have been at fome pains to make himself fuch a finifh'd coxcomb. TIN SE L. [Afide. Give me but poffeffion of your person, and I'll whirl you up to town for a winter, and cure you at once. Oh! I have known many a country Lady come to London with frightful stories of the hall-house being haunted, of fairies, fpirits, and witches; that by the time he had seen a Comedy, play'd at an Affembly, and ambled in a Ballor two, has been fo little afraid of bugbears, that fhe has ventur'd home in a chair at all hours of the night. ABIGAL. Hum fauce-box. TIN SE L. [Afide. 'Tis the folitude of the country that creates these whimfies; there was never fuch a thing as a Ghoft heard of at London, except in the play-house---- Oh we'd pass all our time in London. 'Tis the fcene of pleasure and diverfions, where there's fomething to amuse you every hour of the day. Life's not life in the country. LADY. Well then, you have an opportunity of fhewing the fincerity of that love to me which you profefs. You may give a proof that you have an affection to my person, not my jointure. TIN SE L. Your jointure! how can you think me fuch a dog! but child, won't your jointure be the fame thing in London as in the country? |