Spoken by Mrs. Oldfield.
TO-night the Poet's advocate 1 fland,
And be deferves the favour at my hand,
Who in my equipage their cause debating
Has plac'd two Lovers, and a third in waiting;
If both the first hou'd from their duty fwerve,
There's one behind the wainscote in reserve.
In his next Play, if I wou'd take this trouble,
He promis'd me to make the number double:
In troth 'twas spoke like an obliging creature,
For tho' 'tis fimple, yet it fhews good-nature.
My belp thus ask'd, I cou'd not chufe but grant it,
And really I thought the Play wou'd want it,
Void as it is of all the usual arts
To warm your fancies, and to fieal your hearts:
No Court-Intrigue, nor City Cuckoldom,
No fong, no dance, no mufick
No Smutty thought in doubtful phrafe expreft;
And, Gentlemen, if fo, pray where's the jeft?
When we wou'd raise your mirth, you hardly know
Whether in fritnefs you fhou'd laugh or no,
But turn upon the Ladies in the pit,
And if they redden, you are fure 'tis wit.
Protect him then, ye Fair-ones; for the Fair
Of all conditions are his equal care.
He draws a Widow, who, of blameless carriage,
True to her jointure, hates a fecond marriage;
And to improve a virtuous wife's delights,
Out of one Man contrives two wedding-nights.
Nay, to oblige the fex in every flate,
A nymph of five and forty finds her mate.
Too long has Marriage, in this tasteless age,
With ill-bred raillery Supply'd the ftage;
No little Scribler is of awit fo bare,
But has his fling at the poor wedded pair.
Our Author deals not in conceits fo fiale:
For fhou'd th' examples of his Play prevail,
Na man need blush, tho' true to marriage-vows,
Nor be a jeft tho' he shou'd love his spouse.
Thus has be done you British conforts right,
Whofe Husbands, fhou'd they pry like mine to night,
Wou'd never find you in your conduct flipping,
Tho' they turn'd Conjurers to take you tripping.
HE whole Nation is at prefent very inquifitive after the proceedings in the caufe of Goodman Fact, Plaintiff, and Count Tariff, Defendant; as it was tried on the 18th of June, in the thirteenth year of her Majefty's reign, and in the year of the Lord 1713. I fhall therefore give my countrymen a fhort and faithful account of that whole matter. And in order to it, muft in the first place premise fome particulars relating to the perfon and character of the faid Plaintiff Goodman Fact.
Goodman Fact is allowed by every body to be a plain-fpoken perfon, and a man of very few words. Tropes and figures are his Averfion. He affirms
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