see how our doctors in physick can evade the force of this text, in defence of their profession; for it is a very weak and precarious reply, which they make, when they tell us, 'That Asa is blamed, not directly for seeking to the physicians, but not for trusting in the Lord when he sought to them.' Now, I will grant these gentlemen, that it is the duty of patients to trust in the Lord, when they seek to the physicians; nay, it is their duty to trust in the Lord, then, above any other time; for then they run themselves into those hazards, that, if the Lord does not help them, 'tis odds but they miscarry. But I would have these physicians, who make but sorry interpreters of scripture, to consider, that the text sets seeking the Lord, and seeking the physician, in opposition to one another; plainly enough implying, that the former was his duty, the latter his fault. But our physicians, it seems, would have the sick seek to the Lord, and them both; as if the Lord could not do his own work without them. Odi profanum Genus.- -Hence, sir, it is plain to me, that they are an order of men, that care not much what they say, or do, to uphold their own honour, and keep their ungodly trade a-going. But therefore I would wish all unhealthy people, who have bought their misery of the professors; and all honest gentlemen, who are preserved by the salutary gout in the land of the living, to prefer a bill in parliament against this destructive order of men, that, by a strong cathartic act, they may be purged out of his Majesty's dominions; I will engage, that there's never a family in the nation, but shall, by this means, besides their health, save their taxes, so that a vigorous war may be continued against France, till the Monsieur is not worth a livre, and no body with us ever the poorer. For such an useful decree, we are not without a precedent in history. The wise Romans, under Marcus Porcius Cato, banished physicians, not only from Rome, but also from Italy, which council, it may be reasonably thought, contributed not a little to the increase of their people; for, as where the most lawyers are, there are the most quarrels and contentions; so, where the most physicians, there the most funerals; and some say, where the most divines, there the most differences about religion; but that is not the fault of the divines; for, if the magistrate would let the strongest party alone, they would force all the rest to be of their opinion. But I am afraid I forget myself in too long a digression; what I ought chiefly to insist on, is, the superlative excellence of the gout, which is never to be removed. The fear of losing a blessing takes off from the pleasure of enjoying it. Thieves may plunder your house, age will ruin your beauty, envy may asperse your reputation, bribes corrupt your faith, but the gout is a sure inheritance; neither thieves, nor knaves: neither time, nor envy, nor any thing else, can despoil you of it. A man may, himself, if he has a mind to it, squander his estate, blemish his comely form, injure his fame, and renounce his honesty; but let him get rid of the gout if he can; that blessing he may take comfort in, being secure that it is for his life. They say, there is more care and trouble in keeping an estate, than getting it; as for the gout, there may be some trouble in getting it, tho' that is mixed with pleasure too, but no man is put to the least care and trouble for the safe keeping of the gout; he may endure misery enough indeed, if he seeks to the physician for the cure of it. You cannot be always young and handsome; but gouty once, and gouty ever; thence came the proverb, Drink claret, and have the gout; and drink no claret, and still have it: The gout, it is true, is the reward of some works, but there is no forfeiting it, and therein it is preferable to a crown imperial. Possibly a wise and worthy person may secure his virtue against dangerous temptations, but then he must be always on his guard; but let him take as little care of himself as he pleases, he shall never have the less gout for his loose way of living. But, possibly, it may be objected, That the gout, curing other diseases, and not being to be cured itself, becomes an encouragement to intemperance and lust. The lustful and intemperate drink, and love on, reckoning that the gout will carry off the evil consequences of wild excess, and foolish passion. Now, I will not lye for the gout, as much as I honour it: If it were not for this one-abatement, it were physick for an angel. But, that the reader may not reproach me for a gross philosophical error, I declare, that I do not mean, for the spiritual substance of an angel, for that, I well know, needs no physick, of one sort, or other; but for the corporeal vehicle, which an angel may chance to assume; which vehicle, being rectified by the gout, may, with less trouble, be actuated by the angel. Sir, I thought to have taken a longer view of the excellency of the noble gout, from this sublime ascent, which represents it with its greatest advantage, the advantage of being incurable. But, alas! the violent paroxysm, which I have laboured under for these three short days and nights, abates; the intenseness of my pains considerably remits, and therefore I am forced to break off abruptly; for I am sensible, that no man can do honour to the gout by a just and adequate panegyrick, but he that, at the time of writing, feels it in extremity. THE DEDICATION. TO ALL THE NUMEROUS OFF-SPRING OF APOLLO, WHETHER DOGMATICAL SONS OF ART, OR EMPIRICAL BY-BLOWS. To all Pharmaceutick Residentiaries in Town or City; also to all strolling Practitioners and Impostors. Gentlemen, IF this letter shall happen in any measure to spoil your trade, heaven make me thankful; for well I know, that yours is the very trade of two famous princes, that have, by one method or other, rid out of the way very great numbers of men. A malefactor, condemned to die, ought to be free from all manner of insults as he goes to execution. I know it, and therefore do not dedicate this letter to you, by way of insult, but friendly to mind you, that, since your unrighteous trade is broke or breaking, you would timely bethink yourselves, what honest employment you may be fit for. If you will take my advice, you shall travel; for, to your sorrow, you have known an over-grown farrier, from abroad, make a great doctor in England; why should not you make as good farriers abroad, as they do doctors here? This is certain, like true farriers, you have prescribed to many a weak man, a medicine for a horse; so then, for the materia medica, it is the same, nothing will be troublesome and uneasy to you, in your new profession, but that you shall never get as much by practising on the spavin as the gout; but you must be content with less earnings. What! you cannot, in conscience, expect as much for killing a horse as a man. To this change of your profession, not only the discovery of the frauds and dangers thereof, but also the name of your great patron, Hippocrates, invites,- what are you more than he? Come, come, τόνομα καὶ τέχνην μεταμείψατε, change name and profession, better a murrain among horses than a plague among men. Having thus obliged you, gentlemen, in an epistle dedicatory, by minding you of the imminent decay of your practice upon human bodies, and teaching you how to make the best of a bad market, by trying experiments upon horse-flesh; I hope you will make me that grateful return, as to prevent the obligation I confer on you from turning to my prejudice; therefore, if any gouty person that may happen to malign you, shall object against me, and say, I had better have made a forlorn regiment of you, and sent you to have been knocked on the head in Flanders, than given you a license to kill horses, remember to say this for yourselves, and your benefactor, That, when the devils were ejected out of human bodies, they were suffered to enter into swine.' A TRUE AND JUST RELATION OF MAJOR-GENERAL SIR THOMAS MORGAN'S PROGRESS IN FRANCE AND FLANDERS, WITH THE SIX-THOUSAND ENGLISH, IN THE YEARS 1657 AND 1658, AT THE TAKING OF DUNKIRK, AND OTHER IMPORTANT PLACES; AS IT WAS DELIVERED BY THE GENERAL HIMSELF. CROMWELL being confirmed in his protectorship by parliament, concludes a league offensive and defensive with the King of France, conditionally, that the Protector should assist the French with six-thousand men, and that they should be put into possession of Mardyke and Dunkirk, when taken. But Cromwell's great aim, in this league, was, to destroy the children of Charles the First, and their adherents. So, In consequence of this treaty, James Duke of York, and all others that adhered to the fortune of the Stuarts, had notice to leave France; and Cromwell sent his six-thousand soldiers, who, as it plainly appears from all, but especially from the following account, wrought wonders in that expedition, not under the command of Reynolds and Lockhart, two successive ambassadors at the court of France, as Rapin and most historians have erroneously recorded, but under that brave soldier, Sir Thomas Morgan; as this intripid general has avouched under his own. hand. I shall say no more of the value of this piece of history, without which the memoirs of those times are imperfect, but conclude this introduction with the publisher's advertisement. Sir Thomas Morgan, says he, drew up the following relation at a friend's desire, who was unwilling that posterity should want an authentick account of the actions of the six-thousand English, whom Cromwell sent to assist the French against the Spaniards, and thought the right they did their country, by their behaviour, might make some amends for the occasion of their being in that service. It had been printed in the last reign,* if the authority of it had not interposed, because there was not so much said of some,† who were then in the Spanish army, as they expected; Of K. James II. + The Duke of York, the Earl of Bristol, &c. and is published now, to let the world see, that more was owing to our countrymen, at the battle of Dunkirk, than either Monsieur Bussy Rabutin, or † Ludlow, in their memoirs, do allow. The former, by his manner of expression, seems contented with an opportunity to lessen their merit; and, being in the right wing of the French, while this passed in the left, comes under the just reflexion, he himself makes a little after, upon the describers of fights, who are particular in what they did not see; and, whether the latter was misinformed, or swayed, by his prejudice, to those that were engaged to support the new-erected tyranny, is left to the reader to judge. It may not be improper to add, that these papers came to the publisher's hand, from the gentleman, at whose request they were wrote, and to whom Sir Thomas Morgan confirmed every paragraph of them, as they were read over, at the time he delivered them to him: which, besides the unaffected plainness of the stile, may be urged for the credit of the narrative, since Sir Thomas was intitled to so much true reputation, that he had no need to grasp at any that was false. Jan. 24, 1698. THE HE French King, and his eminence the Cardinal Mazarine, came to view the six-thousand English near Charleroy; and ordered Major-general Morgan, with the said six-thousand English, to march and make conjunction with marshal Turenne's army, who, soon after the conjunction, beleagured a town, called St. Venant, on the borders of Flanders. Marshal Turenne having invested the town on the east-side, and Major-general Morgan, with his sixthousand English, and a brigade of French horse on the west, the army incamped betwixt Marshal Turenne's approaches and Majorgeneral Morgan's; and, being to relieve Count Schomberg, out of the approaches of the west-side of the town, Major-general Morgan marched into the approaches, with eight-hundred English, The English, at that time, being strangers in approaches, Major-general Morgan instructed the officers and soldiers to take their places by fifties, that thereby they might relieve the point to carry on the approaches, every hour. In the mean time, whilst we besieged the town, the enemy had beleaguered a town, called Ardres, within five miles of Calais. In the evening, Count Schomberg, with six noblemen, came upon the point, to see how Major-general Morgan carried on his approaches; but there happened a little confusion, by the soldiers intermingling themselves in the approaches, so as there was never an intire fifty to be called to the point. Count Schomberg and his noblemen taking notice thereof, Major-general Morgan was much troubled, leaped upon the point, and called out fifty to take up the spades, pick-axes, and fascines, and follow him: But so it happened, that all in the approaches leaped out after him, the enemy, in the mean time, firing as fast as they could. Major Part II. p. 135. + Part II. p. 561. Part II. p. 139. Part II. p. 496. |