"stand where he was than go to a worse place." The Justice thereupon to shew the strength of his learning, took him by the shoulder, and said, "Thou shalt go, 'Nogus vogus,'" instead of 'Nolens volens.' 22. A debauched seaman being brought before a Justice of the Peace upon the account of swearing, was by the Justice commanded to deposit his fine in that behalf provided, which was two shillings, he thereupon plucking out of his pocket a half-crown, asked the Justice what was the rate he was to pay for cursing; the Justice told him sixpence; quoth he, then "A pox take you all for a company "of knaves and fools, and there's half-a-crown for you, I will never "stand changing of money 22. A witty rogue coming into a lace shop, said he had occasion for some lace, choice whereof being shewed him, he at last pitched upon one pattern, and asked them how much they would have for so much as would reach from ear to ear, for so much he had occa sion for; they told him for so much so some few words passing between them, he at last agreed, and told down his money for it, and began to measure on his own head, thus saying, "One ear is here, and the other is nailed to the pillory in Bristol, and I fear 66 you have not so much of this lace by you at present as will perfect my bargain; therefore this piece of lace shall suffice at present in "part of payment, and provide the rest with all expedition." 24. A woman being suspected by her husband for dishonesty, and being by him at last pressed very hard about it, made him quick answer with many protestations, "That she knew no more of what he said "than the man in the moon:" Now the captain of the ship called "The Moon," was the very man she so much loved. 25. An apprentice of London being brought before the Chamberlain by his master, for the sin of incontinency, even with his own mistress; the Chamberlain thereupon gave him many Christian exhortations, and at last he mentioned and pressed the chastity of Joseph when his mistress tempted him with the like crime of incontinency. "Ay, Sir," said the apprentice, "but if Joseph's mistress "had been as handsome as mine is, he could not have forborn." 26 When my Lord President of the Council was newly advanced to the Great Seal, Gondomar came to visit him; my Lord said, "That he was to thank God and the King for that honour; "but yet, so he might be rid of the burthen, he could very willingly "forbear the honour. And that he formerly had a desire, and the "same continued with him still, to lead a private life." Gondomar answered that he would tell him a tale, "Of an old rat that "would needs leave the world: and acquainted the young rats "that he would retire into his hole, and spend his days solitarily; "and would enjoy no more comfort: and commanded them upon his "high displeasure, not to offer to come in unto him. They forbore "two or three days; at last, one that was more hardy than the rest, "incited some of his fellows to go in with him, and he would ven"ture to see how his father did; for he might be dead. They went "in, and found the old rat sitting in the midst of a rich Parmesan "cheese." So he applied the fable after his witty manner. 27. Mr. Houland, in conference with a young student, arguing a case, happened to say, "I would ask you but this question." The student presently interrupted him to give him an answer. Where unto Mr. Houland gravely said; " Nay, though I ask you a ques"tion, yet I did not mean you should answer me, I mean to answer "myself." 28. At an act of the commencement, the answerer gave for his question, "That an aristocracy was better than a monarchy." The replier, who was a dissolute man, did tax him, that being a private bred man he would give him a question of state. The answerer said, that the replier did much wrong the privilege of scholars, who would be much straitened if they should give questions of nothing but such things wherein they are practised; and added, "We have heard yourself dispute of virtue, which no man will say you put much in practice." INDEX. ACTIVE MEN, at some times of more use than virtuous, 164. Adversity, essay on, 15 to 17. the blessing of the New Testament, 16. Advice, honourable to take, 164. Age and Youth, essay on, 142. Agrippa, friendship of Augustus for, 89. Affection of Parents, difference in, 21. Affections, pleasures of, greater than the pleasures of sense, 251. Albert Durer and Apelles, parallel between, 145. Alchymists, the knowledge of, 258. Alexander, instance of a conqueror becoming superstitious, 68. Alliances, among states, expediency of, in preserving a balance of power, 64. America, prophecy of the discovery of, 124. Ancients, honours paid to inventors among, 266. Anger, essay on, 184 to 186. Anthropomorphites, heresy of, 293. Apelles and Albert Durer, parallel between, 145. Apollonius, his answer to Vespasian respecting the errours of Nero, 63. are " mucrones verborum," 348. collection of, 349. Appius Claudius, an example of passionate love, 31. Epicurus vindicated from charge of, 54. what dispositions chiefly inclined to, 216. a consequence of ignorance and folly, 217. and superstition equally remote from religion, 218. Augustus, death of, 7. policy attributed to, 17. his friendship for Agrippa, 89. Aviaries, 160. Beauty, essay on, 144. Behaviour, importance of, 171. Body and mind, consent between in deformed persons, 146. Boldness, essay on, 37. its importance on civil business, 38. Books, different sorts of, how to be used, 167. the appearance of the phantasm to, 124. Building, essay on, 147 to 252. model of a perfect palace, 149. Business, danger of affected dispatch to, 83. Cæsar, the impolicy of his witty speech concerning Sylla, 52. a collector of apophthegmes, 348. Calore et Frigore, inquisitio legitima de, 224. Cares, moderation of, 207. Celsus, wise precept of, 111. Ceremonies and respects, essay on, 171. Charity, exaltation of, 206. neglect of, by hypocrites, 212. must accompany knowledge, 263. Charles V. instance of a conqueror becoming superstitious, 63. Chastity, women often presume upon the merit of, 24. Cheerfulness at meal-time a secret of long life, 110. Children and parents, essay on, 21. Church and Scriptures, meditation on, 220. Cleon's dream, 125. Clergy (an overgrown) evil of, 49. Closeness, a part or degree of dissimulation, 18. an unblessed thing to form them of criminals, 116. Colours of good and evil, 225. Comets, 188. Common people, policy in kings to secure the good-will of, 50. Cosmus Duke of Florence, his saying respecting perfidious friends, 15. essay on, 68 to 78. from a friend, better than from a man's self, 93. Counsellor, true composition of, 71. Crafty men contemn studies, 167. Cunning, essay on, 75. especially necessary to those who read little, 168. Custom and education, essay on, 138. Death, essay on, 6 to 8. erroneous fear of, 6. triumphed over by passions, 6. approach of, does not always affect the spirits, 7. how received by Augustus, 7. by Tiberius, 7. by Vespasian, 7. by Galba, 7. by Severus, 7. Stoics bestowed too much cost upon, 7. Deformity, essay on, 146. accompanied by envy, 24. Delays, essay on, 73. |