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WIT AND JOKES.
a fire on an eminence near the Castle of sing 100th Psalm, old version, same day. Turnbury. T'he messenger found the To organist 108. 6d. for playing tune to English in possession of Carrick, same. To Sexton 108. 6d. if he attend the people dispirited, and none ready to the same ; and to master and mistress take arms; he therefore did not make of the free-school, each 10s. 6d. for the signal. But a fire being made about attending the charity children at the noon on the appointed spot, (possibly same time and place; and to the Trusby accident) both Bruce and the mes- tees of the school three guineas for resenger saw it. The former with his freshments, and to supply as many associates put to sea to join his sup- quartern loaves to be distributed to such posed party; the latter to prevent his poor as shall attend divine service on coming. They met before Bruce reach. that day. The overplus, if any, to be ed the shore, when the messenger ac- given in bread to the poor of the parish quainted Bruce with the unpromising that the trustees may consider proper state of his affairs, and advised him to objects of relief.
Jac-co. go back ; but he obeying the dictates of despair and valour, resolved to pero' severe; and attacking the English, carelessly cantoned in the neighbourhood of Selden says, “ Nature must be the Turnbury, put a number of them to the ground work of wit and art, otherwise sword, and pillaged their quarters. whatever is done will prove but JackPercy, from the castle, heard the up- pudding's work. roar, yet did not sally forth against “ Wit must grow like fingers; if it them, not knowing their strength. be taken from others, 'tis like plums Bruce with his followers not exceeding stuck upon black thorns; they are there three hundred in number, remained for for awhile, but they come to nothing. some days near Turnbury; but suc- « Women ought not to know their cours having arrived from the neigh. own wit, because they will be showbouring garrisons, he was 'obliged to ing it, and so spoil it; like a child: seek safety in the mountainous parts of that will constantly be showing its fine Carrick.
C. D. new coat, till at length it all bedaubs it
with its pah hands. “WILLIE WASTLE.”
“ Fine wits destroy themselves with WHEN Oliver Cromwell was at Had their own plots in meddling with great dington, he sent a summons to the go- affairs of state. They commonly do as vernor of Hume Castle, ordering him the ape, that saw the gunner put bulto surrender. The governor answered, lets in the cannon, and was pleased with “ That he, Willie Wastle, stood firm in it, and he would be doing so too; at his castle,
last he puts himself into the piece, and That all the dogs of his town should so both ape and bullet were shot away.
not drive Willie Wastle down." together." This anecdote gave rise to the amuse- “ The jokes, bon-mots, the little ad. ment of Willie Wastle among children. ventures, which may do very well (says
Chesterfield) in one company will seem When the Irish Union was effected in flat and tedious when related in another 1801, the Ex-Chancellor of the Exche they are often ill-timed, and prefaced quer, Sir John Parnell, was the reign- This raises expectations, which when
thus : * I will tell you an excellent thing.' ing toast. Being one evening in a convivial party, he jocularly said that, bylator of this excellent thing look, very,
absolutely disappointed, make the rethe Union he had lost his bread and but. ter.
P. T. W. “ Ah, my dear sir,” replied a
deservedly, like a fool.” friend, «
never mind, for it is amply made up to you in toasts.”
COMPLETION OF VOL. XVI.
THE QUEEN, Chapel Parish, 1804, bequeathing and a Memoir of her Majesty : and Title-page, £300. for performing Divine Service Preface, and Index to Vol. XVI. will be pub for ever, in the said parish church. lished on January 8, 1831. Two guineas to be paid to Curate or Rector, for preaching a sermon on New Printed and published by J. LIMBIRI, 143, Year's Day, from a text mentioned in
Strand, (near Somerset House, London ; sold
by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, his will. To Parish Clerk 10s. 6d. to Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Bouksellers.
CHICHESTER CROSS. Few places in Britain can boast of this see from that of Carlisle, in 1475. higher antiquity than the city of Chi- It was repaired during the reign of chester. Its origin is supposed to date Charles II., and at the expense of the back beyond the invasion of Britain by Duke of Richmond, in 1746; though the Romans. It was destroyed towards the we are told that Bishop Story left an close of the fifth century, by Ella, but estate at Amberley, worth full 25l. per rebuilt by his son, Cissa, the second annum, to keep it in constant repair ; king of the South Saxons, who named but a few years afterwards the mayor it after himself, and made it the royal and corporation sold it, in order to purresidence and capital of his dominions. chase another nearer home. The date
Chichester, as may be expected, is a of the erection of this structure is not fertile field for antiquarian research. Its mentioned in the inscription ; but, from cathedral, churches, and ecclesiastical the style and ornaments, it must be rebuildings abound with fine architecture; ferred to the time of Edward IV. This and its Cross is entitled to special Cross is universally acknowledged to be mention. It is thus minutely described one of the most elegant buildings of the in the Beauties of England and Wales : kind existing in England. Its form is
The Cross stands in the centre of the octangular, having a strong butment at city, at the intersection of the four each angle, surmounted with pinnacles. principal streets. According to the in- On each of its faces is an scription upon it, this Cross was built by through • a pointed arch, ornamented Edward Story, who was translated to with crockets and a finial. Above this, VOL. XVII. С
on four of its sides, is a tablet, to com
SHROPSHIRE. memorate its reparation in the reign of “ To all friends round the Wrekin.” Charles II. Above each tablet is a dial,
LINCOLNSHIRE, STAMFORD. exhibiting the hour to each of the three Doctrinæ studium, quod nunc viguet ad vada principal streets; the fourth being ex- Boum cluded from this advantage by standing Tempore venturo celebrabitur að vada Saxi. at an angle. In the centre is a large Science that now o'er Oxford sheds her ray
Shall bless fair Stamford at some future day. circular column, the basement of which
Merlin. forms a seat : into this column is in
STAFFORDSHIRE. serted a number of groinings, which, Or Trent who like some earth-boru giant spreads spreading from the centre, form the
His thirsty arms along the indented meads. roof beautifully moulded. The central
appears to continue through the And beauteous Trent that in himself enseams roof, and is supported without by eight (fattens) flying buttresses, which rest on the seve- Both tbirty sorts of fish and thirty sundry ral corners of the building. Till a few streams.
Spenser. years since this Cross was used as a
BERKSHIRE.- ABINGDON. market-place; but the increased popu- (From Piers Plowman's MSS. 1400.) lation of the city requiring a more ex
And there shall come a king and confess you tensive area for that purpose, a large religious, and convenient market-house was, about And beat you as the Bible telleth, for breaking of the year 1807, erected in the North
your rule, street; on the completion of which, it And then shall the Abbot of Abingdon and all was proposed to take down this Cross, his issue for ever then considered as a nuisance. For- Have a knock of a king, and incurable the tunately, however, the city was exempt
wound. ed from the reproach such a proceed- WILTSHIRE.--SALISBURY CATAEDRAL, ing by the public spirit of some of the As many days as in one year there be, members of the corporation, who pur- So many windows in this church you see, chased several houses on the north side As many marble pillars here appear of the Cross, in order to widen that part As there are hours throughout the fleeting year, of the street, by their demolition. As many gates as moons one here does view,
Strange talo to tell, yet uot more strange thau
true. The Topographer.
A noble park near Sarum's stately town,
In form a mount's clear top call'd Clarendon ; COUNTY COLLECTIONS.
'There twenty groves, and each a mile in space, (For the Mirror.)
With grateful shades, at once protect the place. KENT.
Chippenham.- On a Stone. He that will not live long,
Hither extendeth Maud Heath's Gift, Let him dwell at Murston, Tenbam, or Tong. For where I stand is Chippenham Clift. Queen Elizabeth's Gun at Dover,
GLOUCESTERSAIRE. "O'er hill and dale I throw my ball,
An owl shall build her nest upon the walls of Breaker my name of muund and wall."
Gloucester, Deal famed much vaunts of uew turrets bigh,
And in her nest shall be brought forth an ass. A place well known by Cæsar's victory.
The Severn sea shall discharge itself thrcugh LELAND,
seven mouths, Dover, Sandwich, and Winchelsea,
And the river Usk shall burn seven months. Rumney and Rye the Five Ports be.
Merlin. HAMPSHIRE-SIR BEVIS OF SOUTHAMPTON. Bevis conquered Ascapart
Robin Hood in Baroesdale stood, And after slew the Boar,
An arrow to head drew he, And then he crossed beyond the seas
“ How far I can shoot," quoth he, “by the rood To combat with the Moor.
“ My merry men shall see.” WESTMORELAND.
SURREY.-ON THE MARKET HOUSE, FARNHAM. I came to Lonsdale wbere I staid
You who do like me, give money to end me, At ball, into a tavern made,
You who dislike me, give as much to mend me. Neat gates, white walls, pought was sparing, Pots brimful, no thought of caring.
And Mole that like a nousling mole doth make They eat, driuk, laugh, are still mirth making
His way still underground till Tbanues he over
take. Nought they see, that's worth care taking.
Spenser. Drunken Barnaby's Journal. The chalky Wey that rolls a milky wave. Pope.
CHESHIRE. Chester of Castria took the name,
What ear so empty is, that hath not heard the As if that Castria were the same,
of Taunton's fruitful Deane; not matched by government; but in some cases, partiany ground.
Drayton. cularly when they deprived magistrates “ Stanton Drew,
of their offices for mal-administration, One mile from Pensford, and another from they gave their votes in private, lest the Chew."
power and greatness of the persons acBristol Castle.
cused should lay a restraint upon them, The castle there and poble tower,
and cause them to act contrary to their of all the towers of England is held the flower.
judgments and inclinations. Redcliffe Church.
The manner of voting privately was Stay curious traveller, and pass not bye, by casting pebbles into vessels or urns. Until this fetive (elegant) pile astound thine eye, Before the use of pebbles, they voted That shoots aloft inio the realms of day,
with beans: the beans were of two The Record of the Builder's fame for aie
sorts, black and white. In the Senate Tho pride of Bristowe aud the Western Lande.
of Five Hundred, when all had done
speaking, the business designed to be WALES,GLAMORGANSHIRE. When the boarse waves of Severn are screaming writing by any of the prytanes, or other
passed into a decree was drawn up in aloud, And Pepline's lofty castle involv'd in a cloud,
senators, and repeated openly in the If true, the old proverb, a shower of rain,
house ; after which, leave being given Is brooding above, and will soon drench
by the epistata, or prytanes, the senaplaip.
tors proceeded to vote, which they did PEMBROK ESHIRE,
privately, by casting beans in a vessel Once to Rome thy steps incline,
placed there for that purpose. If the But visit twice St. David's shriue.
number of black beans was found to be
the greatest, the proposal was rejected; When Percelly weareth a hat,
if white, it was enacted into a decree, All Pembrokeshire shall weet of that.
then agreed upon in the senate, and SCOTLAND.-STIRLINGSHIRE-BANNOCKBURN,1314. “ Maidens of England, sore may ye mourn,
afterwards propounded to an assembly For your lemans ye've lost at Bannockburn "
of the people, that it might receive
from them a farther ratification, without ROXBURGH.
which it could not be passed into a law, “ Some of his skill be taught to me,
nor have any force or obligatory power, And, warrior, I could say to thee,
after the end of that year, which was The words that cleft Eildon Hills in three, Aud bridled the Tweed with a curb of stone.” the time that the senators, and almost
all the other magistrates, laid down
their commissions. WESTERN ISLES. Seven years before that awfnl day,
In the reign of Cecrops, women were When time shall be no more,
said to have been allowed voices in the A watery deluge will o'ersweep
popular assembly ; where Minerva conHibernia's mossy shore.
tending with Neptune which of the two The green clad Isla too shall sink,
should be declared Protector of Athens, While with the great and good,
and gaining the women to her party, was Columba's bappy isle shall rear
reported by their voices, which were Her towers above the flood.
more numerous than those of the men, This prophecy is said to be the reason why so many kings of Scotland, Norway, and Ireland
to have obtained the victory. have selected Icombkill for the place of their
P. T. W. interment.
CLARENCE AND ITS ROYAL DUKES. What once were sticks, they hardeped stones will make.
(To the Editor.)
CLARENTIA, or Clarence, now Clare, a " Fear not till Birnam Wood
town in Suffolk, seated on a creek of Do come to Dunsinane "
the river Stout, is of more antiquity than beauty; but has long been celebrated for men of great fame, who have borne the mains of a noble castle, of great strength
and considerable extent and fortificaGREEK BALLOT.-VOTING AMONG
tion (perhaps some of your readers could ANCIENT GREEKS.
favour you with a drawing and history The manner of giving their suffrages of it); and ruins of a collegiate church. (says Potter) was by holding up their It had once a monastery of canons, of hands, This was the common method the order of St. Augustine, or of St. of voting among the citizens in the civil Benedict, founded in the year 1248, by
Betrospective Gleanings. titles of earls and dukes. It has the re
Richard Clare, Earl of Gloucester. This bited characters humble and high, cowhouse was a cell to the Abbey of Beca- ardly and brave, selfish and generous, herliven, in Normandy, but was made vulgar and polished, and is at home in indigenous by King Henry II., who gave them all. I was present one evening, it to the Abbey of St. Peter, at West- when Coleridge, in a long and eloquent minster. In after time. King John harangue, accused the author of Waverchanged it into a college of a dean and ley of treason against Nature, in not secular canons. At the suppression, drawing his characters after the fashion its revenues were 3241. a year.
of Shakspeare, but in a manner of his Seated on the banks of Stour river is own. This, without being meant, was a priory of the Benedictine order, trans- the highest praise Scott could well related thither from the castle, by Richard ceive. Perhaps the finest compliment De Tonebridge, Earl of Clare, about the ever paid him, was at the time of the year 1315. Edmund Mortimer, Earl of late coronation, I think. The streets March, converted it into a collegiate were crowded so densely, that he could church. Elizabeth, the wife of Lionell, not make his way from Charing Cross Duke of Clarence, was buried in the down to Rose's, in Abingdon-street, chancel of this priory, 1363; as was though he elbowed ever so stoutly. He also the duke.
applied for help to a sergeant of the The first duke was the third son of Scotch Greys, whose regiment lined the King Edward III. He created his third streets. “ Countryman,” said the solson, Lionell of Antwerp, Duke of Cla- dier, “I am sorry I cannot help you,”! rence, in 1362.
His first wife was and made no exertion. Scott whispered Elizabeth of Clare, daughter of William his name—the blood rushed to the solDe Burgh, Earl of Ulster ; she died in dier's brow—he raised his bridle-hand, 1363. His second wife was Violante, and exclaimed, “ Then, by G-d, sir, you daughter of the Duke of Milan. He shall go down-Corporal Gordon, here died in Italy, 1370.
see this gentleman safely to AbingdonClarencieux, the second king-at, street, come what will !” It is needless arms, so called by Lionell, who first to say how well the order was obeyed. held it. King Henry IV. created his I have related how I travelled to Edin. second son, Thomas of Lancaster, to the burgh to see Scott, and how curiously earldom of Albemarle and duchy of Cla- my wishes were fulfilled; years rolled rence. He was slain in Anjou, in 142). on, and when he came to London to be
The third duke was the second son of knighted, I was not so undistinguished Richard of Plantagenet, Duke of York, as to be unknown to him by name, or to George Duke of Clarence, in Suffolk. be thought unworthy of his acquaintHe was accused of high treason, and I was given to understand, from was secretly suffocated in a butt of what his own Ailie Gourlay calls a sure Malmsley, or sack wine, in a place called hand, that a call from me was expected, Bowyer Tower, in the Tower of Lon- and that I would be well received. I don, 1478, by order of his brother, King went to his lodgings, in Piccadilly, with Edward IV.
much of the same palpitation of heart The fourth duke. There was an in- which Boswell experienced when introterregnum of 311 years before another duced to Johnson. I was welcomed Duke of Clarence. George III. created with both hands, and such kind, and his third son, William Henry, to the complimentary words, that confusion duchy of Clarence, August 16, 1789. and fear alike forsook me. When I saw The only Duke of Clarence who ever him in Edinburgh, he was in the very was raised to the throne is King pith and flush of life-even in my opiWilliam IV. of England. CARACTACUS. nion a thought more fat than bard beSPIRIT OF THE
seems; when I looked on him now,
thirteen years had not passed over him Public Journals. and left no mark behind : his hair was
growing thin and grey; the stamp of
years and study was on his brow: he (From the first of “ Living Literary told me he had suffered much lately
Characters,' in the New Monthly from ill-health, and that he once doubtMagazine.)
His eldest son, a tall, It would be superfluous to continue the handsome youth-now a major in the list of his prose works : they are nume- army-was with him. From that time, rous; but they are in all people's hands, till he left London, I was frequently in and.censure or praise would come equally his company. He spoke of my pursuits late. He has triumphed over every diffi- and prospects in life with interest and culty of subject, place, or time--exhi. with feeling-of my little attempts in
ed of recovery.
SIR WALTER SCOTT.