were too easily soothed by the indefinite postponement of the great concern to "a more convenient season." Occasional convictions were indeed felt, but without any permanent or practical influence.' pp.

18-20.

This season of apostasy was not long. It is curious, and highly instructive, to observe how the fallacies which she had embraced, and which had insensibly led her on into deep and troubled waters, were all, one after another, given up, until she came back, with the simplicity of childhood, to receive afresh the doctrines of the gospel, and with even a firmer faith in them, because a more intelligent one, than she had exercised before. The process of thought in her own mind, by which she was brought back, was this. Her conviction of the being of God, she had never lost, even in her darkest hours. That plunge into the unfathomable abyss she had not taken. Few can take it. It was this deep-seated conviction of the existence of God, which was the redeeming truth in her soul. She saw him in all his works, as every other intelligent eye, however dimmed by the pride of false reasoning, must see him. She heard his upbraiding voice in all the walks of nature without, and in the reflections of her own silent and solitary bosom, reproving her for her defection from the truths which she had once embraced and loved, and in which she had once been so happy. This God she saw that she had offended. For she could not but feel that he was a God of rectitude and purity; and her own ingratitude and disobedience were but too palpable.

A few hours contemplation of the starry heavens, darted into her mind a piercing reflection upon her stupidity and ingratitude, in what she justly called an unnatural and parricidal attempt to banish God from his own creation, to depose him from his natural supremacy over her heart." Her whole life now appeared to her (what indeed the scriptures declare it to be,) one continued act of sin and folly. Her convictions of sin, however, being wholly unconnected with any discovery of the way of forgiveness, naturally tended to despondency. Every fresh sense of the corruption of her heart, and of the unsullied purity of the Divine character, brought with it a corresponding sense of guilt. She could expect, therefore, nothing but punishment proportioned to the infinite sinfulness of her offense. She could not conceive the consistency of her forgiveness with the claim of Divine justice; and the alternative of her eternal punishment seemed even less dreadful than the supposition of any inconsistency in Him, who, in her view, was the perfection of holiness. I had acquired," she remarked, "such a perception of the beauty of holiness, that the thought of an unholy God was worse than hell to me. I felt that I had rather God should pour out on me all the vials of his wrath, than that, carried away by an unworthy softness and weakness, he should forgive, and thereby encourage sin. To undergo eternal punishment was horrible. To acknowledge an unholy God, was more horrible.”

VOL. VI.

49

As her last expedient, her despised bible was brought to mind. A "how different," she observes," was the temper of mind in which now addressed myself to its perusal, from that in which I had read it the commencement of my disbelief of christianity! I was no longer proud sophist, triumphing in the strength and penetration of hum reason, and in the comprehensiveness of human knowledge. templation of my own ignorance, weakness, and wickedness, had la my pride in the dust. My eyes were opened to view myself as I real was,-depraved and blinded in my reason, judgment, and understan ing. And this is the process which must take place in the soul of eve man, before he can pursue the search after truth in a right spira pp. 20, 21.

Her attention, in her search after truth, was naturally turned the promises of the gospel. Their suitableness attracted her n tice; their freeness encouraged her confidence. "Ask, and shall receive; seek, and ye shall find." "If ye, being evil, kno how to give goods things to your children, how much more sha your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? Passages of this nature, especially, arrested her attention, and fi ed it in deep and wistful earnestness upon them.

'She determined to make trial of them, conceiving that their fulfi ment in her own case, would be a "test of the truth" of the book whic held them forth for her acceptance. Though hindered at first by sense of unworthiness, she ventured to apply; justly considering, tha whatever might be her apprehensions of her own demerit, yet a stat of submission and desire could not be so displeasing to God as one o carelessness and rebellion. But the description of this anxious cris must be given in her own striking words. "Impelled by these reflections, fearful and uncertain, but with uncontrollable, unutterable longings, I directed my applications to the unknown God.' O my Redeemer the first breathings of my soul were not uttered in thy name I rushed into the presence of my Judge without a mediator. But, doubtless, even then thy comeliness was thrown over the deformity of my soul; and the eye of my Father beheld me with pity, for thy dear name's sake. My prayer ascended up to heaven, fragrant with the incense of thy merits; though the poor wretch who offered it thought to please God by leaving thee out of it."

In this prostration of soul she continued "watching daily at her Lord's gates, waiting at the posts of his doors." It need scarcely be added, she did not seek in vain. The Divine character now appeared before her, not, as before, in its consuming holiness, but in the combined glory of holiness and love. The character of Christ, as a proof of the credibility of the christian revelation, arrested her particular attention. A minute scrutiny of His spotless life was most satisfactory in its result.* "The more," said she, "I studied this

*

*This is not a solitary instance of impression from the contemplation of the character of Christ. Even Mr. Chubb must have felt some conviction, when he

Divine character, the more I grew up as it were into its simplicity and holiness, the more my understanding was enabled to shake off those slavish and sinful prejudices, which had hindered me from appreciating its excellence. Truly his words were dearer to me "than my necessary food." He was my "all in all.”'

pp. 21, 22.

After her recovery from the snare into which she had fallen, her heart was thenceforth kept from "turning again to folly." She felt her indebtedness. Her soul was deeply humbled. She became uncommonly active and devoted. And her path through the residue of her earthly course, was "as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." She says:

"From that moment I ceased to stumble at the doctrines of the cross. The doctrines of scripture, which had before appeared to me an inexplicable mass of confusion and contradictions, were now written on my understanding with the clearness of a sunbeam. Above all, that once abhorred doctrine of the Divinity of Christ was becoming exceeding precious to me. The external evidences of christianity, though I now perceived all their force, were no longer necessary to my conviction. From that time" she concludes, "I have continued to sit at the feet of Jesus, and hear his word; taking Him for my teacher and guide in things temporal as well as spiritual. He has found in me a disciple so slow of comprehension, so prone to forget his lessons, and to act in opposition to his commands, that were he not infinitely meek and lowly in heart,' he would long ago have cast me off in anger. But he still continues to bear with me, and to give me line upon line, and precept upon precept.' And I am certain, that he will never leave me, nor forsake me ;' for, though I am variable and inconstant, him there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.'"

6

with

p. 23.

She continued to reside in London some time after her melancholy fall, and the remembrance of it seemed, ever afterwards, to be a constant motive to her to be diligent and faithful in following her Lord fully, and doing all the good in her power. Her thirst for knowledge was as ardent, and her application to study as intense, as ever; but henceforth she sought knowledge in subordination to higher objects, and with a most jealous vigilance,

describes his life" as a beautiful picture of human nature in its native purity and simplicity; and showing at once what excellent creatures men would be, when under the influence and power of that gospel which he preached unto them." (True Gospel, p. 56.) Rousseau's exquisite contrast between Socrates and Christ, is well known, concluding with the remarkable acknowledgment respecting the latter:-"The inventor of such a personage would be a more astonishing character than the hero." Yet could this man's heart resist the clear conviction of his judgment," I cannot," he subjoins, "believe the gospel." His confes sions, however, clearly trace his unbelief to its proper cause,-the love of sin. See John iii. 19, 20,--a text which throws more light upon the secret springs of infidelity, than whole volumes that have been written upon the subject.

lest the pursuit of it should gain an undue ascendency over her. To some minds there is a pleasure perfectly enchanting in acquiring knowledge. It is the master passion; and to it every thing else yields. It was so in Miss Graham's case. Once she had panted for knowledge for its own sake, on account of the gratification which she found in the exercise of her faculties, and in the success with which her investigations were rewarded. But now, her pursuit of knowledge, her natural relish for which was unabated, had a more commanding object, and was, therefore, maintained with even augmented ardor, and with proportionate success. Her mind being of that class which loves to inquire minutely into the nature and relations of things, it was to studies of this description that she gave her principal attention. Mathematics and mental philosophy, particularly, were her favorite studies. But she was not confined to these.

'She had cultivated an acquaintance with the Roman classics with considerable success. In the field of modern literature and taste, she was perfectly familiar with the French, Italian, and Spanish languages. For the first two she had proper masters. The last she learnt from a Castilian, who was introduced to her father's house, in exchange for teaching him her own language. In order to improve herself in the knowledge of the languages, she made considerable use of them in mutual correspondence with her young friends. For the same purpose she translated Goldsmith's Vicar of Wakefield, (a work not congenial to her taste, but selected as a good specimen of English style,) into French, Latin, and Spanish, and commenced an Italian version. She made a similar use of Gil Blas, to perfect herself in the Spanish language.

*

*

The best English writers were familiar to her, especially the standard works connected with the philosophy of the mind. She appears to have made herself thoroughly acquainted with the principles of Locke. Ste speaks, in one of her letters, of reading his important Essay on the Conduct of the Understanding, for the twentieth time with renewed interest, and recommends to her correspondent the study of this work with great earnestness, as the means of giving her an increased thirst for pursuits purely intellectual. Stewart was read with much improvement to herButler's Analogy was also upon her first shelf.

self.

Her acquaintance with the Greek language only extended to the reading of the Greek testament. The further progress in this department of literature, was hindered by her application to other studies necessary for the superintendence of the education of her cousin. She was proposing to commence the study of Hebrew, but increasing indis position precluded her from engaging in any new branch of study, that excited her interest and exercised her habits of application.

Miss Graham studied the theory of music with much attention, and wrote a short but correct development of its principles, for the use of a young cousin, then preparing for the situation of governess, and whom,

as we have before hinted, she had in part educated for this important phere with anxious pains and interest. Apart from this object, she would not probably have devoted so large a portion of her valuable tame to this study, as it was a matter of frequent concern to her, to observe the preponderance given to this elegant and fascinating science above the more solid and useful accomplishments.

In some of her lively exercises of mind, she took up the subject of chimistry with great delight, making long extracts from the books which she had read, and going over every part till she thoroughly understood it. Without having any more definite object for this study, she felt that some absorbing occupation of this character was necessary to beguile the long and wearisome hours of sickness. For the same object, botany also attracted her attention. Thus, with various and successive occupations, her mind was always maintained in active, intelligent, and profitable exercise.' pp. 47-50.

Yet, notwithstanding her thirst for knowledge, and her being so successful in the pursuit of it, she could find time and inclination for other, and too often to the literary student distasteful, employments.

'She was a constant visitor of the poor in the most miserable abodes, under circumstances trying to her delicate frame and tender spirit. For some time she took a daily and somewhat distant walk through an uninviting part of the city, to spend an hour with a dying young woman, whose case had deeply interested her, and to whom there is every reason to believe that she was found the blessed messenger of life and salvation. Her sympathy was much called out by the temporal wants of the poor. Much of her leisure time was employed in working for their benefit. A large chest of useful articles of clothing was constantly kept in her own room, while the opportunities of distribution were always improved as means of spiritual instruction to the objects of her consideration. Her Sabbaths were entirely devoted to the service of God. She became a teacher in the Christ Church Sunday-School, and though she was often exhausted at the close of the day by the continued excitement of her exertions, yet she ever counted her toil in the work of Christ to be her highest privilege and delight.

Upon her removal from London, the interest of her intellectual mind continued to be called forth in the employment of a village sphere. A deep and abiding constraint of redeeming love regulated every mental effort. Though she diligently improved her retirement in adding to her already well-furnished storehouse; yet she chiefly regarded it as the means of secretly recruiting her strength for the service of God. Hers was not the mind to repose luxuriously in "the castle of indolence." Hers was not the soul that could rest even in spiritual selfindulgence, insensible to the urgent calls of active duty. Even her delicate health was not suffered to preclude her from the self-denying exercise of christian devotedness. During the first summer of her country residence, she regularly attended at the parish work-house at seven o'clock, to explain the scriptures to the poor, previous to the commencement of their daily labor.