The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project comes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that “will immediately improve every area of your life” (Melissa Urban, co-founder of the Whole30). During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: • Upholders meet outer and inner expectations readily. “Discipline is my freedom.” • Questioners meet inner expectations, but meet outer expectations only if they make sense. “If you convince me why, I’ll comply.” • Obligers (the largest Tendency) meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations—therefore, they need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. “You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.” • Rebels (the smallest group) resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They do what they choose to do, when they choose to do it, and typically they don’t tell themselves what to do. “You can’t make me, and neither can I.” Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you. With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. |
Contents
Your Tendency | 1 |
Identify Your Tendency | 19 |
Upholder | 25 |
Dealing with an Upholder | 47 |
Understanding the Questioner | 61 |
Dealing with a Questioner | 85 |
Obliger | 99 |
Dealing with an Obliger | 141 |
You cant make me and neither can | 155 |
Dealing with a Rebel | 183 |
Applying the Four Tendencies | 209 |
Speaking Effectively to Each Tendency | 229 |
Whatever Our Tendency We Can Learn | 243 |
Further Resources on Gretchen Rubins Four | 252 |
Other editions - View all
The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How ... Gretchen Rubin No preview available - 2017 |
The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How ... Gretchen Rubin No preview available - 2017 |
Common terms and phrases
able accountability agree answer become behavior better boss can't career cause challenge child choice choose client commitments complete consider course create deadlines Dealing decide decisions doctor don't example exercise explained external fact feel follow Four Tendencies frustrated give habits hard hate husband important inner expectations instance it's keep kids kind less live look manage matter meet inner Meets outer expectations never Obliger Obliger-rebellion once outer expectations pair parents pattern person plans possible practice Questioner realize reason Rebel refuse remind resist respond rules running schedule sense someone sometimes spouse Strengths struggle student tasks teacher tell tend they're things thought tion told trouble true understand Upholder write wrote