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How now, my
Enter a Servant.
Par. Do; I'll take the sacrament on't, how and
which way you will. How now? where's your master ?
Ber. All's one to him. What a past-saving slave Seru. He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom
is this! he bath taken a solemn leave ; his lordship will 1 Lord. You are deceived, my lord ;
this is monnext morning for France. The duke hath offered sieur Parolles, the gallant militarist, (that was his him letters of commendations to the king.
own phrase,) that had the whole theorick of war in 2 Lord. They shall be no more than needful
the knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chape there, if they were more than they can commend. of his dagger. Enter BERTRAM.
2 Lord. I will never trust a man again, for keep
ing his sword clean; nor believe he can have every 1 Lord. They cannot be too sweet for the king's thing in him, by wearing his apparel neatly. tartness. Here's his lordship now.
1 Sold. Well, that's set down. lord, is't not after midnight?
Par. Five or six thousand horse, I said, - I will Ber. I have to-night dispatched sixteen busi
say true, -or thereabouts, set down, - for I'll speak nesses, a month's length a-piece, by an abstract of truth. success: I have conge'd with the duke, done my
1 Lord. He's very near the truth in this. adiey with his nearest; buried a wife, mourned for
Ber. But I con him no thanks for't, in the naber; writ to my lady mother, I am returning ; en- ture he delivers it. tertained my convoy; and, between these main par- Par. Poor rogues, I pray you, say. cels of despatch, effected many nicer deeds ; the last I Sold. Well, that's set down. was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.
Par. I humbly thank you, sir : a truth's a truth, 2 Lord. If the business be of any difficulty, and the rogues are marvellous poor. this morning your departure hence, it requires haste 1 Sold. Demand of him, of what strength they are of your lordship.
a-foot. What say you to that ? Ber. I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing
Par. By my troth, sir, if I were to live this preto hear of it hereafter: But shall we have this dia
sent hour, I will tell true. Let me see : Spurio a logue between the fool and the soldier ? Come, bundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus so bring forth this counterfeit module; he has deceived many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, me, like a double-meaning prophesier.
and Gratii, two hundred fifty each : mine own com2 Lord. Bring him forth : [Exeunt Soldiers.] he pany, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred has sat in the stocks all night, poor gallant knave. and fifty each : so that the muster-file, rotten and
Ber. No matter ; his heels have deserved it, in sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thouusurping his spurs so long. How does he carry sand poll; half of which dare not shake the snow himself?
from off their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to 1 Lord. I have told your lordship already ; the
pieces. stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would Ber. What shall be done to him? be understood; he weeps like a wench that had
1 Lord. Nothing, but let him have thanks. Deshed her milk : he hath confessed himself to Mor- mand of him my conditions, and what credit I have gan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time with the duke. of his remembrance, to this very instant disaster of
1 Sold. Well, that's set down. You shall demand his setting i'the stocks: And what think you he of him, whether one Captain Dumain be i'the camp, hath confessed ?
a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the duke, Ber. Nothing of me, has he?
what his valour, honesty, and erpertness in wars; or 2 Lord. His confession is taken, and it shall be whether he thinks, it were not possible, with well-weighread to his face: if your lordship be in't, as I believe ing sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.
What you are, you must have the patience to hear it.
say you to this ? what do you know of it?
Par. I beseech you, let me answer to the particuRe-enter Soldiers, with PAROLLES.
lar of the intergatories : Demand them singly. Ber. A plague upon him! muffled ! he can say 1 Sold. Do you know this captain Dumain ? nothing of me; hush! hush!
Par. I know him : he was a botcher's 'prentice I Lord. Hoodman comes ! Porto tartarossa. in Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting
1 Sold. He calls for the tortures; What will you the sheriff's fool with child; a dumb innocent, that say without 'em ?
could not say him, nay. Par, I will confess what I know without con
[Dumain lifts up his hand in anger. straint ; if ye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no Ber. Nay, by your leave, hold your hands;
though I know, his brains are forfeit to the next I Sold. Bosko chimurcho.
tile that falls. 2 Lord. Boblibindo chicurmurco.
1 Sold. Well, is this captain in the duke of Flow 1 Sold. You are a merciful general : Our ge- rence's camp? neral bids you answer to what I shall ask you out Par. Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy, of a note.
1 Lord. Nay, look not so upon me ; Par. And truly, as I hope to live.
hear of your lordship anon. 1 Sold. First demand of him how many horse the 1 Sold. What is his reputation with the duke? duke is strong. What say you to that?
Par. The duke knows him for no other but a Par. Five or six thousand; but very weak and poor officer of mine ; and writ to me this other day, unser viceable: the troops are all scattered, and the to turn him out o' the band : I think, I have his comman
ders very poor rogues, upon my reputation letter in my pocket. and credit, and as I hope to live.
1 Sold. Marry, we'll search. 1 Soul. Shall I set down your answer so?
Par. In good sadness, I do not know; either it
is there, or it is upon a file, with the duke's other that country, he had the honour to be the officer at letters, in my tent.
a place there call's Mile-end, to instruct for the 1 Sold. Here 'tis; here's a paper. Shall I read doubling of files : I would do the man what honour i: to you?
I can, but of this I am not certain. Par. I do not know, if it be it, or no.
1 Lord. He hath out-villained villainy so far, that Ber. Our interpreter does it well.
the rarity redeems him. 1 Lord. Excellently.
Ber. A pox on him! he's a cat still. 1 Solu. Dian. The count's a fool, and full of gold, – 1 Sold. His qualities being at this poor price, I
Par. That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an need not ask you, if gold will corrupt him to revolt. advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Par. Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the feeDiana, to take heed of the allurement of one count | simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it; and Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but, for all that, very cut the entail from all remainders, and a perpetual ruttish : I pray you, sir, put
succession for it perpetually. 1 Soli. Nay, i'll read it first, by your favour. 1 Sold. What's his brother, the other captain
Par. My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest Dumain ? in the behalf of the maid : for I knew the young 2 Lord. Why does he ask him of me? count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy ; who is 1 Sold. What's he? a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it Par. E'en a crow of the same nest; not altogefinds.
ther so great as the first in goodness, but greater a Ber. Damnable, both sides rogue !
great deal in evil. He excels his brother for a cow1 Sold. When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, ard, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that and take it ;
is : In a retreat he out-runs any lackey; marry, in After he scores, he never pays the score :
coming on he has the cramp. Half won, is match well made; match, and well
1 Sold. If your life be saved, will you undertake make it ;
to betray the Florentine? He ne'er pays after debts, take it before ;
Par. Ay, and the captain of his horse, count
1 Sold. I'll whisper with the general, and know For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it,
his pleasure. Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Par. I'll no more drumming; a plague of all
drums ! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear,
the supposition of that lascivious young boy the PAROLLES.
count, have I run into this danger : Yet, who would Ber. He shall be whipped through the army, with have suspected an ambush where I was taken? this rhyme in his forehead.
(Aside. 2 Lord. This is your devoted friend, sir, the ma- 1 Sold. There is no remedy, sir, but you must nifold linguist, and the armipotent soldier.
die : the general says, you, that have so traitorously Ber. I could endure any thing before but a cat, discovered the secrets of your army, and made such and now he's a cat to me.
pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can serve 1 Sold. I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we the world for no honest use; therefore you must shall be fain to hang you.
die. Come, headsmen, off with his head. Par. My life, sir, in any case : not that I am Par. O Lord, sir; let me live, or let me see afraid to die ; but that, my offences being many,
I would repent out the remainder of nature : let me 1 Sold. That shall you, and take your leave of all live, sir, in a dungeon, i'the stocks, or any where, so
[Unmuffling him. I may live.
So, look about you ; Know you any here? 1 Sold. We'll see what may be done, so you con- Ber. Good morrow, noble captain. fess freely; therefore, once more to this captain 2 Lord. God bless you, captain Parolles. Dumain: You have answered to his reputation 1 Lord. God save you, noble captain. with the duke, and to his valour : What is his ho- 2 Lord. Captain, what greeting will you to my nesty ?
lord Lafeu ? I am for France. Par. He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister; 1 Lord. Good captain, will you give me a copy for rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus. He of the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking them, count Rousillon ? an I were not a very coward, I'd he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with compel it of you ; but fare you well. such volubility, that you would think truth were a
(Ereunt BertrAM, Lords, &c. fool : drunkenness is his best virtue ; for he will be 1 Sold. You are undone, captain : all but your swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does little harm, scarf, that has a knot on’t yet. save to his bed-clothes about him; but they know Par. Who cannot be crushed with a plot ? his conditions, and lay him in straw. I have but 1 Sold. If you could find out a country where little more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has every but women were that had received so much shame, thing that an honest man should not have; what an you might begin an impudent nation. honest man should have, he has nothing.
well, sir; I am for France too; we shall speak of 1 Lord. I begin to love him for this.
(Erit. Ber. For this description of thine honesty ? A Par. Yet am I thankful : if my heart were great, pox upon him for me, he is more and more a cat. 'Twould burst at this : Captain, I'll be no more ;
1 Sold. What say you to his expertness in war? But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
Par. Faith, sir, he has led the drum before the As captain shall, simply the thing I am English tragedians, to belie him, I will not, Shall make me live. Who knows himself a brag and more of his soldiership I know not; except, in
Let him fear this; for it will come to pass,
of a mother, I could not have owed her a more That every braggart shall be found an ass.
rooted love. Rust, sword! cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live Laf. 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we Safest in shame! being fool'd by foolery thrive! may pick a thousand salads, ere we light on such There's place, and means, for every man alive. another herb. I'll after them.
[Erit. Clo. Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of
the salad, or, rather the herb of grace. SCENE IV. Florence. A Room in the Laf. They are not salad-herbs, you knave, they Widow's House.
Clo. I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir, I have Enter HELENA, Widow, and Diana.
not much skill in grass. He. That you may well perceive I have not Laf. Whether dost thou profess thyself; a knave wrong'd you,
or a fool ? One of the greatest in the Christian world
Clo. A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a Shall be my surety ; 'fore whose throne, 'tis needful, knave at a man's. Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel :
Laf. Your distinction ? Time was, I did him a desired office,
Clo. I would cozen the man of his wife, and do Dear almost as his life ; which gratitude
his service. Through flinty Tartar's bosom would peep forth, Laf. So you were a knave at his service, And answer, thanks : I duly am inform’d
indeed. His grace is at Marseilles ; to which place
Clo. And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, We have convenient convay. You must know,
to do her service. I am supposed dead : the army breaking,
Laf. I will subscribe for thee; thou art both My husband hies him home; where, heaven
knave and fool. aiding,
Clo. At your service. And by the leave of my good lord the king,
Laf. No, no, no. We'll be, before our welcome.
Clo. Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve Wid.
Gentle madam, as great a prince as you are. You never had a servant, to whose trust
Laf. Who's that ? a Frenchman ? Your business was more welcome.
Clo. Faith, sir, he has an English name; but his Hel.
Nor you, mistress, phisnomy is more hotter in France, than there. Ever a friend, whose thoughts more truly labour Laf. What prince is that ? To recompense your love ; doubt not, but heaven Clo. The black prince, sir, alias, the prince of Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower, darkness; alias, the devil. As it hath fated her to be my motive
Laf. Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee And helper to a husband. But O strange men ! not this to suggest thee from thy master thou That can such sweet use make of what they hate, talkest of; serve him still. When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts
Clo. I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always Defiles the pitchy night! so lust doth play
loved a great fire; and the master I speak of, ever With what it loths, for that which is away :
keeps a good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of But more of this hereafter: - You, Diana, the world, let his nobility remain in his court. I Under my poor instructions yet must suffer am for the house with the narrow gate, which I Something in my behalf.
take to be too little for pomp to enter : Dia.
Let death and honesty humble themselves, may; but the many will be too Go with your impositions, I am yours
cbill and tender; and they'll be for the flowery way, Upon your will to suffer.
that leads to the broad gate, and the great fire. Hel. Yet, I pray you,
Laf. Go thy ways, I begin to be a-weary of But with the word, the time will bring on summer, thee; and I tell thee so before, because I would not When briars shall have leaves as well as thorns, fall out with thee. Go thy ways; let my horses be And be as sweet as sharp. We must away ;
well looked to, without any tricks. Our waggon is prepar'd, and time revives us :
Clo. If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall All's well that ends well : still the fine's the crown; be jades' tricks; which are their own right by the Whate'er the course, the end is the renown.
law of nature.
[Erit. (Ereunt. Laf. A shrewd knave, and an unhappy.
Count. So he is. My lord, that's gone, made SCENE V, - Rousillon. A Room in the Coun- himself much sport out of him: by his authority tess's Palace.
he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for his
sauciness; and, indeed, he has no pace, but runs Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and Clown.
where he will. Laf. No, no, no, your son was misled with a Laf. I like him well ; 'tis not amiss : and I was snipt-taffata fellow there; whose villainous saffron about to tell you.
Since I heard of the good lady's would have made all the unbaked and doughy death, and that my lord your son was upon his reyouth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-turn home, I moved the king my master, to speak law had been alive at this hour; and your son here in the behalf of my daughter ; which, in the miat home more advanced by the king, than by that nority of them both, his majesty, out of a self-grared-tailed humble-bee I speak of.
cious remembrance, did first propose : his highness Count. I would, I had not known him! it was hath promised me to do it: and, to stop up the the death of the most virtuous gentlewoman, that displeasure he hath conceived against your son, ever nature had praise for creating : if she had par- there is no fitter matter. How does your ladyship taken of my flesh, and cost me the dearest groans like it?
Count. With very much content, my lord, and I
Re-enter Clown. wish it happily effected.
Laf. His highness comes post from Marseilles, Clo. O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a of as able body as when he numbered thirty; he patch of velvet on's face; whether there be a scar will be here to-morrow, or I am deceived by him under it, or no, the velvet knows; but 'uis a goodly that in such intelligence hath seldom failed.
patch of velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two Count. It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see himpile and a half, but his right cheek is worn bare. ere I die. I have letters, that my son will be here Laf. A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good to-night: I shall beseech your lordship, to remain livery of honour; so, belike, is that. with me till they meet together.
Clo. But it is your carbonadoed face. Laf. Madam, I was thinking, with what manners Laf. Let us go see your son, I pray you ; I long I might safely be admitted.
to talk with the young noble soldier. Count. You need but plead your honourable Clo. 'Faith, there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate privilege.
fine hats, and most courteous feathers, which bow Laf. Lady, of that I have made a bold charter ; the head, and nod at every man.
(Ereme". hut, I thank my God, it holds yet.
SCENE I. - Marseilles. A Street.
Hel. And you shall find yourself to be well
thank'd, Enter HELENA, Widow, and Diana, with two
Whate'er falls more. — -We must to horse again;-
Enter Clown and PAROLLES.
Par. Good monsieur Lavatch, give my lord As nothing can unroot you. In happy time ; Lafeu this letter : I have ere now, sir, been better
known to you, when I have held familiarity with Enter a gentle Astringer.
fresher clothes; but I am now, sir, muddied in forThis man may help me to his majesty's ear, tune's moat, and smell somewhat strong of her If he would spend his power. God save you, sir. strong displeasure. Gent. And you.
Clo. Truly, fortune's displeasure is but sluttish, Hel. Sir, I have seen you in the court of France. if it smell so strong as thou speakest of: I will Gent. I have been sometimes there.
henceforth eat no fish of fortune's buttering. Hel. I do presume, sir, that you are not fallen Pr’ythee, allow the wind. From the report that goes upon your goodness; Par. Nay, you need not stop your nose, sir; I And therefore, goaded with most sharp occasions, spake but by a metaphor. Which lay nice manners by, I put you to
Clo. Indeed, sir, if your metaphor stink, I will The use of your own virtues, for the which
stop my nose; or against any man's metaphor. I shall continue thankful.
Pr’ythee, get thee further. Gent.
What's your will ? Par. Pray you, sir, deliver me this paper. Hel. That it will please you
Clo. Foh, pr’ythee, stand away; A paper from To give this poor petition to the king ;
fortune's close-stool to give to a nobleman! Look, And aid me with that store of power you have, here he comes himself. To come into his presence.
Here is a pur of fortune's, sir, or of fortune's Gent.
Not, indeed: cat (but not a musk-cat,) that has fallen into the He hence remov'd last night, and with more haste unclean fishpond of her displeasure, and, as he says, Than is his use.
is muddied withal : Pray you, sir, use the carp as Wid.
Lord, how we lose our pains ! you may; for he looks like a poor, decayed, ingeHel. All's well that ends well; yet ;
nious, foolish, rascally knave. I do pity his disThough time seem so advérse, and means unfit. tress in my smiles of comfort, and leave him to your I do beseech you, whither is he gone?
[Exit Clown. Gent. Marry, as I take it, to Rousillon;
Par. My lord, I am a man whom fortune hath Whither I am going.
cruelly scratched. Hel. I do beseech you, sir,
Laf. And what would you have me to do ? 'tis Since you are like to see the king before me, too late to pare her nails now. Wherein have you Commend the paper to his gracious hand;
played the knave with fortune, that she should Which I presume, shall render you no blame, scratch you, who of herself is a good lady, and But rather make you thank your pains for it : would not have knaves thrive long under her ? I will come after you, with what good speed There's a quart d'ecu for you : Let the justicer Our means will make us means.
make you and fortune friends; I am for other buGent.
This I'll do for you. siness.
Par. I beseech your honour, to hear me one King. I am not a day of season, single word.
For thou may'st see a sun-shine and a hail Laf. You beg a single penny more: come, you In me at once : But to the brightest beams shall ha't; save your word.
Distracted clouds give way; so stand thou forth, Par. My name, my good lord, is Parolles. The time is fair again. Laf. You beg more than one word then.-Cox'my Ber.
My high-repented blames, passion! give me your hand: How does your drum? Dear sovereign, pardon to me. Par. O my good lord, you were the first that King.
All is whole ; found me.
Not one word more of the consumed time. Laf. Was I, in sooth? and I was the first that Let's take the instant by the forward top; lost thee.
For we are old, and on our quick'st decrees Par. It lies in you, my lord, to bring me in some The inaudible and noiseless foot of time grace, for you did bring me out.
Steals ere we can effect them: You remember Laf. Out upon thee, knave! dost thou put upon The daughter of this lord ? me at once both the office of God and the devil ? Ber. Admiringly, my liege : at first one brings thee in grace, and the other brings thee I stuck my choice upon her, ere my heart out. (Trumpets sound.] The king's coming, I Durst make too bold a herald of my tongue : know by his trumpets. Sirrah, inquire further | Where the impression of mine eye infixing, after me; I had talk of you last night : though you Contempt his scornful perspective did lend me, are a fool and a knave, you shall eat; go to, follow. Which warp'd the line of every other favour; Par. I praise God for you.
[Exeunt. Scorn'd a fair colour, or express'd it stol’n;
Extended or contracted all proportions, SCENE III. — The same. A Room in the To a most hideous object : Thence it came, Countess's Palace.
That she, whom all men prais’d, and whom myself, Flourish. Enter King, COUNTESS, LAFEU, Lords, Since I have lost, have lov’d, was in mine eye
The dust that did offend it.
Well excus'd: King. We lost a jewel of her; and our esteem That thou didst love her, strikes some scores away Was made much poorer by it: but your son, From the great compt: But love, that comes too As mad in folly, lack'd the sense to know
late, Her estimation home.
Like a remorseful pardon slowly carried, Count.
'Tis past, my liege : To the great sender turns a sour offence, And I beseech your majesty to make it
Crying, That's good that's gone : our rash faults Natural rebellion, done i'the blaze of youth; Make trivial price of serious things we have, When oil and fire, too strong for reason's force, Not knowing them, until we know their grave : O'erbears it, and burns on.
Oft our displeasures, to ourselves unjust, King.
My honour'd lady, Destroy our friends, and after weep their dust : I have forgiven and forgotten all;
Our own love waking cries to see what's done, Though my revenges were high bent upon him, While shameful hate sleeps out the afternoon. And watch'd the time to shoot.
Be this sweet Helen's knell, and now forget her. Laf.
This I must say,
Send forth your amorous token for fair Maudlin : But first I beg my pardon, The young lord The main consents are had; and here we'll stay Did to his majesty, his mother, and his lady, To see our widower's second marriage-day. Offence of mighty note; but to himself
Count. Which better than the first, О dear hea The greatest wrong of all : he lost a wife, Whose beauty did astonish the survey
Or, ere they meet in me, O nature, cease! Of richest eyes; whose words all ears took captive; Laf. Come on, my son, in whom my house's Whose dear perfection, hearts that scorn'd to serve, Humbly call'd mistress.
Must be digested, give a favour from you, King.
Praising what is lost, To sparkle in the spirits of my daughter, Makes the remembrance dear. Well, call him | That she may quickly come. — By my old beard,
And every hair that's on't, Helen, that's dead, We are reconcil'd, and the first view shall kill Was a sweet creature; such a ring as this, All repetition : - Let him not ask our pardon ; The last that e'er I took her leave at court, The nature of his great offence is dead,
I saw upon her finger. And deeper than oblivion do we bury
Hers it was not. The incensing relicks of it: let him approach, King. Now, pray you, let me see it; for min A stranger, no offender; and inform him,
eye, So 'tis our will he should.
While I was speaking, oft was fasten’d to it. Gent.
I shall, my liege. This ring was mine ; and, when I gave it Helen,
[Erit Gentleman. I bade her, if her fortunes ever stood King. What says he to your daughter ? have you Necessitied to help, that by this token spoke?
I would relieve her: Had you that craft, to reave her Laf. All that he is hath reference to your highness. Of what should stead her most? King. Then shall we have a match. I have letters Ber.
My gracious sovereign
Howe'er it pleases you to take it so,
The ring was never hers.
Son, on my life,
I have seen her wear it; and she reckon'd it