Misery and Company: Sympathy in Everyday LifeIn a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review |
From inside the book
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Page 9
... field observations , and freewritings ; I indicate these sources parentheti- cally within the text . I have given fictitious names to nine of my intensive interview respon- dents , the ... field notes . THE SOCIAL CHARACTER OF SYMPATHY 9.
... field observations , and freewritings ; I indicate these sources parentheti- cally within the text . I have given fictitious names to nine of my intensive interview respon- dents , the ... field notes . THE SOCIAL CHARACTER OF SYMPATHY 9.
Page 10
... Field notes ; When the source of a particular quotation is not a named respondent or not specifically indicated , readers should assume that the source is the same as that of adjacent quotations . When the information is available to me ...
... Field notes ; When the source of a particular quotation is not a named respondent or not specifically indicated , readers should assume that the source is the same as that of adjacent quotations . When the information is available to me ...
Page 17
... ( field notes ) . When a person in trouble receives sympathy , he or she may experience a comforting sense of intersubjectivity , of being understood . Both sympathizee and sympa- thizer may feel an arc of connection , liking , THE SOCIAL ...
... ( field notes ) . When a person in trouble receives sympathy , he or she may experience a comforting sense of intersubjectivity , of being understood . Both sympathizee and sympa- thizer may feel an arc of connection , liking , THE SOCIAL ...
Page 19
... ( Field notes ; white middle - aged divorced physician , describing one of his partners in a group practice ) When we feel it ( or even feel that we should feel it ) , sympathy personally and palpably signals the boundaries between those ...
... ( Field notes ; white middle - aged divorced physician , describing one of his partners in a group practice ) When we feel it ( or even feel that we should feel it ) , sympathy personally and palpably signals the boundaries between those ...
Page 20
... ( field notes ) . Besides ties of intimacy , sympathy also creates ties of obligation and reciprocity . Though we are sometimes loath to admit it , people often give their valuable gifts of sympathy with strings attached . What are the ...
... ( field notes ) . Besides ties of intimacy , sympathy also creates ties of obligation and reciprocity . Though we are sometimes loath to admit it , people often give their valuable gifts of sympathy with strings attached . What are the ...
Contents
2 | |
Forms and Process | 26 |
Sympathy Entrepreneurs and the Grounds for Sympathy | 80 |
4 The Socioemotional Economy Social Value and Sympathy Margin | 128 |
5 Sympathy Biography and the Rules of Sympathy Etiquette | 158 |
The Sympathetic Response | 194 |
7 Sympathy Microhierarchy and Micropolitics | 226 |
8 Epilogue | 252 |
Research Strategies | 261 |
References | 281 |
Name Index | 299 |
Subject Index | 304 |
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Common terms and phrases
accounts actions actor American Appeal asked attention believe cards chapter characters claim consider create cultural described display economy emotions empathy example exchange expect experience explained feel sorry felt Field notes follow friends gifts give giving sympathy grounds husband important individual instance interaction Interview involved judge kind label less lives logic look luck married mean moral mother never notes obligation offer parents percent person plights poor presented Press principle problems reactions receive reciprocity relationship respondents role rules sense sentiment situation social society socioemotional Sociology someone sometimes story sympa sympathetic sympathizee sympathy margins talk things thought tion trouble understand usually victims vignette woman women worker worth York young