Misery and Company: Sympathy in Everyday LifeIn a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review |
From inside the book
Results 1-5 of 45
Page ix
... actions of the little clusters of people sharing this space with me . I saw more than a collection of apprehensive , tired people . In a matter of hours , a small society had developed among the waiters , even though most didn't know ...
... actions of the little clusters of people sharing this space with me . I saw more than a collection of apprehensive , tired people . In a matter of hours , a small society had developed among the waiters , even though most didn't know ...
Page 3
... action they take or fail to take . Imagine yourself a member of this group , never giving sympathy or getting any . The closest we can come to such a society outside the realm of specula- tion is that of the Ik , or " Mountain People ...
... action they take or fail to take . Imagine yourself a member of this group , never giving sympathy or getting any . The closest we can come to such a society outside the realm of specula- tion is that of the Ik , or " Mountain People ...
Page 14
... actions that are infinite in variety but similar in pattern . In this book , I will document some of the patterns of sympathy give - and - take . The Hardened Heart and Sympathy Logic By this time , however , the mindful reader may be ...
... actions that are infinite in variety but similar in pattern . In this book , I will document some of the patterns of sympathy give - and - take . The Hardened Heart and Sympathy Logic By this time , however , the mindful reader may be ...
Page 16
... actions and relationships . Sympathy contributes to the social order by con- necting the unfortunate to the fortunate , by offering temporary breaks from coping with life's difficulties , and by creating a wider circle for commentary ...
... actions and relationships . Sympathy contributes to the social order by con- necting the unfortunate to the fortunate , by offering temporary breaks from coping with life's difficulties , and by creating a wider circle for commentary ...
Page 17
... actions , reactions , obligations , expectations , and senti- ments . Sometimes the bridge begins on one side of the existential space between two people , with either the sympathizer or the sympathizee serv- ing as its primary ...
... actions , reactions , obligations , expectations , and senti- ments . Sometimes the bridge begins on one side of the existential space between two people , with either the sympathizer or the sympathizee serv- ing as its primary ...
Contents
2 | |
Forms and Process | 26 |
Sympathy Entrepreneurs and the Grounds for Sympathy | 80 |
4 The Socioemotional Economy Social Value and Sympathy Margin | 128 |
5 Sympathy Biography and the Rules of Sympathy Etiquette | 158 |
The Sympathetic Response | 194 |
7 Sympathy Microhierarchy and Micropolitics | 226 |
8 Epilogue | 252 |
Research Strategies | 261 |
References | 281 |
Name Index | 299 |
Subject Index | 304 |
Other editions - View all
Common terms and phrases
accounts actions actor American Appeal asked attention believe cards chapter characters claim consider create cultural described display economy emotions empathy example exchange expect experience explained feel sorry felt Field notes follow friends gifts give giving sympathy grounds husband important individual instance interaction Interview involved judge kind label less lives logic look luck married mean moral mother never notes obligation offer parents percent person plights poor presented Press principle problems reactions receive reciprocity relationship respondents role rules sense sentiment situation social society socioemotional Sociology someone sometimes story sympa sympathetic sympathizee sympathy margins talk things thought tion trouble understand usually victims vignette woman women worker worth York young