Misery and Company: Sympathy in Everyday LifeIn a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review |
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Results 1-5 of 80
Page x
... emotions so they could sympathize " properly " when they faced their loved ones . They shared an unnamed social role centered around giving sympathy . The role derives from the more central , starring role , the sick role , which ...
... emotions so they could sympathize " properly " when they faced their loved ones . They shared an unnamed social role centered around giving sympathy . The role derives from the more central , starring role , the sick role , which ...
Page 5
... emotion is important and that this connec- tion is not just a one - way street . Feeling rules and logics help shape emo- tions . In their turn , emotions help shape the social structure — ties that bind and barriers that separate ...
... emotion is important and that this connec- tion is not just a one - way street . Feeling rules and logics help shape emo- tions . In their turn , emotions help shape the social structure — ties that bind and barriers that separate ...
Page 8
... emotions may find it useful to study it more thoroughly . I set several purposes for my sympathy research . One was to under- stand how people give and receive sympathy in everyday life and the pat- terns that characterize the process ...
... emotions may find it useful to study it more thoroughly . I set several purposes for my sympathy research . One was to under- stand how people give and receive sympathy in everyday life and the pat- terns that characterize the process ...
Page 11
... emotions such as sympathy . In contrast to the imaginary picture of a society without sympathy I painted at the beginning of this chapter , Americans do assume that parents ( especially mothers ) will sympathize with their children's ...
... emotions such as sympathy . In contrast to the imaginary picture of a society without sympathy I painted at the beginning of this chapter , Americans do assume that parents ( especially mothers ) will sympathize with their children's ...
Page 13
... emotion work " ( 1979 ; 1983 , 49 ) . Con- sciously or unconsciously , people try to feel and show what they consider proper emotions for people of their gender , age , social class , and ethnic group . At times , people follow sympathy ...
... emotion work " ( 1979 ; 1983 , 49 ) . Con- sciously or unconsciously , people try to feel and show what they consider proper emotions for people of their gender , age , social class , and ethnic group . At times , people follow sympathy ...
Contents
2 | |
Forms and Process | 26 |
Sympathy Entrepreneurs and the Grounds for Sympathy | 80 |
4 The Socioemotional Economy Social Value and Sympathy Margin | 128 |
5 Sympathy Biography and the Rules of Sympathy Etiquette | 158 |
The Sympathetic Response | 194 |
7 Sympathy Microhierarchy and Micropolitics | 226 |
8 Epilogue | 252 |
Research Strategies | 261 |
References | 281 |
Name Index | 299 |
Subject Index | 304 |
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Common terms and phrases
accounts actions actor American Appeal asked attention believe cards chapter characters claim consider create cultural described display economy emotions empathy example exchange expect experience explained feel sorry felt Field notes follow friends gifts give giving sympathy grounds husband important individual instance interaction Interview involved judge kind label less lives logic look luck married mean moral mother never notes obligation offer parents percent person plights poor presented Press principle problems reactions receive reciprocity relationship respondents role rules sense sentiment situation social society socioemotional Sociology someone sometimes story sympa sympathetic sympathizee sympathy margins talk things thought tion trouble understand usually victims vignette woman women worker worth York young