Misery and Company: Sympathy in Everyday LifeIn a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review |
From inside the book
Results 1-5 of 75
Page x
... give their loved ones concern , help , and sympathy despite their own considerable worries and fears . ( Hos- pital personnel , busy concentrating on routines and procedures , were gen- erally reluctant to carry out sympathizing ...
... give their loved ones concern , help , and sympathy despite their own considerable worries and fears . ( Hos- pital personnel , busy concentrating on routines and procedures , were gen- erally reluctant to carry out sympathizing ...
Page 6
... give and get sympathy , they define or rein- force the relations between themselves . Sympathy can connect people emo- tionally , or it can divide them by underlining the differences between the fortunate and the less fortunate . It can ...
... give and get sympathy , they define or rein- force the relations between themselves . Sympathy can connect people emo- tionally , or it can divide them by underlining the differences between the fortunate and the less fortunate . It can ...
Page 8
... give and receive sympathy in everyday life and the pat- terns that characterize the process . I also wanted to know what happens to individuals and social groups as a result of sympathy giving . Further , how do people in everyday ...
... give and receive sympathy in everyday life and the pat- terns that characterize the process . I also wanted to know what happens to individuals and social groups as a result of sympathy giving . Further , how do people in everyday ...
Page 9
... give - and - take . How does sympathy pervade and help regulate the everyday social order of families , work groups , and communities ? What happens to the power relationship between the parties ? What happens when someone refuses to give ...
... give - and - take . How does sympathy pervade and help regulate the everyday social order of families , work groups , and communities ? What happens to the power relationship between the parties ? What happens when someone refuses to give ...
Page 10
... give full vent to their thoughts and feelings , I did not ask them to supply background characteris- tics other than age and sex . Readers interested in my methodology here may wish to turn directly to the " Intensive Eavesdropping ...
... give full vent to their thoughts and feelings , I did not ask them to supply background characteris- tics other than age and sex . Readers interested in my methodology here may wish to turn directly to the " Intensive Eavesdropping ...
Contents
2 | |
Forms and Process | 26 |
Sympathy Entrepreneurs and the Grounds for Sympathy | 80 |
4 The Socioemotional Economy Social Value and Sympathy Margin | 128 |
5 Sympathy Biography and the Rules of Sympathy Etiquette | 158 |
The Sympathetic Response | 194 |
7 Sympathy Microhierarchy and Micropolitics | 226 |
8 Epilogue | 252 |
Research Strategies | 261 |
References | 281 |
Name Index | 299 |
Subject Index | 304 |
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Common terms and phrases
accounts actions actor American Appeal asked attention believe cards chapter characters claim consider create cultural described display economy emotions empathy example exchange expect experience explained feel sorry felt Field notes follow friends gifts give giving sympathy grounds husband important individual instance interaction Interview involved judge kind label less lives logic look luck married mean moral mother never notes obligation offer parents percent person plights poor presented Press principle problems reactions receive reciprocity relationship respondents role rules sense sentiment situation social society socioemotional Sociology someone sometimes story sympa sympathetic sympathizee sympathy margins talk things thought tion trouble understand usually victims vignette woman women worker worth York young