Misery and Company: Sympathy in Everyday LifeIn a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review |
From inside the book
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Page 5
... individuals much latitude in choosing social bonds , a person who does not feel such emotions for another may simply abandon the bond . Thus , with- out some connecting emotion , a bond can vanish into thin air . Sympathy is one of a ...
... individuals much latitude in choosing social bonds , a person who does not feel such emotions for another may simply abandon the bond . Thus , with- out some connecting emotion , a bond can vanish into thin air . Sympathy is one of a ...
Page 6
... individual . Especially since the Enlightenment , the spread of the belief in the sanctity of human life and the unique self distinct from family and community has provided a rationale for paying attention to individuals ' problems and ...
... individual . Especially since the Enlightenment , the spread of the belief in the sanctity of human life and the unique self distinct from family and community has provided a rationale for paying attention to individuals ' problems and ...
Page 8
... individuals and social groups as a result of sympathy giving . Further , how do people in everyday settings define sympathy , and what vocabularies of motives do they use for giving it ? How and when do people " ask for " sympathy ...
... individuals and social groups as a result of sympathy giving . Further , how do people in everyday settings define sympathy , and what vocabularies of motives do they use for giving it ? How and when do people " ask for " sympathy ...
Page 9
... individual and social consequences of sympathy give - and - take . How does sympathy pervade and help regulate the ... individuals ' remarks as they appear throughout the book . I have also assigned a fictitious name— Mary Smith — to one ...
... individual and social consequences of sympathy give - and - take . How does sympathy pervade and help regulate the ... individuals ' remarks as they appear throughout the book . I have also assigned a fictitious name— Mary Smith — to one ...
Page 14
... individuals with sympathy . Looking at what is " good for a laugh " provides some evidence for Turnbull's fears that we are moving too far along the Ik path . What major American city can claim no citizens who make fun of " bag ladies ...
... individuals with sympathy . Looking at what is " good for a laugh " provides some evidence for Turnbull's fears that we are moving too far along the Ik path . What major American city can claim no citizens who make fun of " bag ladies ...
Contents
2 | |
Forms and Process | 26 |
Sympathy Entrepreneurs and the Grounds for Sympathy | 80 |
4 The Socioemotional Economy Social Value and Sympathy Margin | 128 |
5 Sympathy Biography and the Rules of Sympathy Etiquette | 158 |
The Sympathetic Response | 194 |
7 Sympathy Microhierarchy and Micropolitics | 226 |
8 Epilogue | 252 |
Research Strategies | 261 |
References | 281 |
Name Index | 299 |
Subject Index | 304 |
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Common terms and phrases
accounts actions actor American Appeal asked attention believe cards chapter characters claim consider create cultural described display economy emotions empathy example exchange expect experience explained feel sorry felt Field notes follow friends gifts give giving sympathy grounds husband important individual instance interaction Interview involved judge kind label less lives logic look luck married mean moral mother never notes obligation offer parents percent person plights poor presented Press principle problems reactions receive reciprocity relationship respondents role rules sense sentiment situation social society socioemotional Sociology someone sometimes story sympa sympathetic sympathizee sympathy margins talk things thought tion trouble understand usually victims vignette woman women worker worth York young