Misery and Company: Sympathy in Everyday LifeIn a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review |
From inside the book
Results 1-5 of 45
Page ix
... offer sympathy , assurances , and cheer to a father or a sister or a friend in the unit . As I bided my time with ... offered to bring coffee and food to the rest . When a group was called for their ten - minute visit , they shook off ...
... offer sympathy , assurances , and cheer to a father or a sister or a friend in the unit . As I bided my time with ... offered to bring coffee and food to the rest . When a group was called for their ten - minute visit , they shook off ...
Page 3
... offer no condolences to the bereaved . Without mercy or consideration of extenuating circumstances , judges , bosses , and teachers hold people accountable for every action they take or fail to take . Imagine yourself a member of this ...
... offer no condolences to the bereaved . Without mercy or consideration of extenuating circumstances , judges , bosses , and teachers hold people accountable for every action they take or fail to take . Imagine yourself a member of this ...
Page 6
... offer a respite or change a life . In these ways , sympathy plays a part in constructing the larger social order , giving shape and substance to interaction , relationships , and social bonds . Sympathy In Americans ' Emotional Culture ...
... offer a respite or change a life . In these ways , sympathy plays a part in constructing the larger social order , giving shape and substance to interaction , relationships , and social bonds . Sympathy In Americans ' Emotional Culture ...
Page 8
... offer consolation for each other's financial woes , interpersonal squabbles , commuting problems , and fatigue . Or a worker tells a sob story to elicit the boss's sympathy and a reprieve . On a city street , a scruffy man holding out a ...
... offer consolation for each other's financial woes , interpersonal squabbles , commuting problems , and fatigue . Or a worker tells a sob story to elicit the boss's sympathy and a reprieve . On a city street , a scruffy man holding out a ...
Page 9
... offer ? What must people do to ensure their sympathy - worthi- ness their status as sympathetic characters ? How do the patterns vary for different groups and subcultures ? Another goal was to explain the individual and social ...
... offer ? What must people do to ensure their sympathy - worthi- ness their status as sympathetic characters ? How do the patterns vary for different groups and subcultures ? Another goal was to explain the individual and social ...
Contents
2 | |
Forms and Process | 26 |
Sympathy Entrepreneurs and the Grounds for Sympathy | 80 |
4 The Socioemotional Economy Social Value and Sympathy Margin | 128 |
5 Sympathy Biography and the Rules of Sympathy Etiquette | 158 |
The Sympathetic Response | 194 |
7 Sympathy Microhierarchy and Micropolitics | 226 |
8 Epilogue | 252 |
Research Strategies | 261 |
References | 281 |
Name Index | 299 |
Subject Index | 304 |
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Common terms and phrases
accounts actions actor American Appeal asked attention believe cards chapter characters claim consider create cultural described display economy emotions empathy example exchange expect experience explained feel sorry felt Field notes follow friends gifts give giving sympathy grounds husband important individual instance interaction Interview involved judge kind label less lives logic look luck married mean moral mother never notes obligation offer parents percent person plights poor presented Press principle problems reactions receive reciprocity relationship respondents role rules sense sentiment situation social society socioemotional Sociology someone sometimes story sympa sympathetic sympathizee sympathy margins talk things thought tion trouble understand usually victims vignette woman women worker worth York young