Misery and Company: Sympathy in Everyday LifeIn a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review |
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Page x
... receiving sympathy has its patterns and rules , too . The hospital patients , including Bernard , accepted offerings ... received . Further reflection made it clear that many situations call for variants on the sympathizer and ...
... receiving sympathy has its patterns and rules , too . The hospital patients , including Bernard , accepted offerings ... received . Further reflection made it clear that many situations call for variants on the sympathizer and ...
Page 2
... receive by communication their inclinations and sentiments , how- ever different from , or even contrary to our own . David Hume , A Treatise of Human Nature , 1739 ry to imagine a society without sympathy . Suppose unsympathetic 1. The ...
... receive by communication their inclinations and sentiments , how- ever different from , or even contrary to our own . David Hume , A Treatise of Human Nature , 1739 ry to imagine a society without sympathy . Suppose unsympathetic 1. The ...
Page 8
... receive sympathy in everyday life and the pat- terns that characterize the process . I also wanted to know what happens to individuals and social groups as a result of sympathy giving . Further , how do people in everyday settings ...
... receive sympathy in everyday life and the pat- terns that characterize the process . I also wanted to know what happens to individuals and social groups as a result of sympathy giving . Further , how do people in everyday settings ...
Page 9
... receive this emotional resource ? What are the limits to how much sympathy people can ask for ? What are the limits to how much others are likely to offer ? What must people do to ensure their sympathy - worthi- ness their status as ...
... receive this emotional resource ? What are the limits to how much sympathy people can ask for ? What are the limits to how much others are likely to offer ? What must people do to ensure their sympathy - worthi- ness their status as ...
Page 16
... receiving or not receiving it , can change the course of inter- actions and relationships . Sympathy contributes to the social order by con- necting the unfortunate to the fortunate , by offering temporary breaks from coping with life's ...
... receiving or not receiving it , can change the course of inter- actions and relationships . Sympathy contributes to the social order by con- necting the unfortunate to the fortunate , by offering temporary breaks from coping with life's ...
Contents
2 | |
Forms and Process | 26 |
Sympathy Entrepreneurs and the Grounds for Sympathy | 80 |
4 The Socioemotional Economy Social Value and Sympathy Margin | 128 |
5 Sympathy Biography and the Rules of Sympathy Etiquette | 158 |
The Sympathetic Response | 194 |
7 Sympathy Microhierarchy and Micropolitics | 226 |
8 Epilogue | 252 |
Research Strategies | 261 |
References | 281 |
Name Index | 299 |
Subject Index | 304 |
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Common terms and phrases
accounts actions actor American Appeal asked attention believe cards chapter characters claim consider create cultural described display economy emotions empathy example exchange expect experience explained feel sorry felt Field notes follow friends gifts give giving sympathy grounds husband important individual instance interaction Interview involved judge kind label less lives logic look luck married mean moral mother never notes obligation offer parents percent person plights poor presented Press principle problems reactions receive reciprocity relationship respondents role rules sense sentiment situation social society socioemotional Sociology someone sometimes story sympa sympathetic sympathizee sympathy margins talk things thought tion trouble understand usually victims vignette woman women worker worth York young