The Government Manual for New PiratesThere be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." --Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates * Coinciding with the release of the final installment of Pirates of the Caribbean comes a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers. Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more. |
Contents
CHAPTER | 13 |
Not Recommended | 22 |
Absence Makes the Boat Go Faster | 28 |
CHAPTER FOUR | 39 |
Dangers of the Deep | 48 |
The Black Spot | 56 |
Parley | 62 |
CHAPTER | 69 |
Sword Fighting | 76 |
Rum | 82 |
CHAPTER EIGHT | 89 |
Buried in Plain Sight | 97 |
Afterword | 105 |
A Favorite Pirate Recipe | 113 |
| 119 | |
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Common terms and phrases
Attributed to Po'beard Avast Barbus Negrus beard black spot boat booty bottle of rum Brethren Brotherhood Brozik buccaneer buried treasure Cadbury Calico Jack cannon Captain Caribbean cask Coast Guard cutter crewmen curse Cuthbert St cutlass Davy Jones Death Isle drinking rum duel eye patch favorite foes glad a-cause Godzilla gold Government Manual grog hand heed to chapter Hispaniola Hooks and Pegs hornswoggle Ice Pirates Jacob Sager Weinstein keelhaul killer whales Kraken land dwellers landlubber letters Loophole nautical miles Nelson's Blood Ninety-nine bottles non-pirate Nontraditional Chantey one's parley Parleydox parrot piracy Pirate Bureaucrats Pirate Code pirate crew Pirate Government Pirate King pirate tongue pirate-friendly pirate's Pirates enjoy Pistols plank popular Proper Sailing Technique readin Rednose rule Sager Weinstein Scurvy dog sea monster seaside town sharks shuffleboard sidebar steal Sword Fighting tattooed Thomas Island Tortuga treasure map vessel wear wenches words yammerin