Page images
PDF
EPUB

SCENE 2xD.

THE PRECEEDING, Peter (WITH HIS MOUTA FULL.) Pet.--Be as brief as you can, your honor, for I have but this moment

sealed myself as table. It is just as bad to disturb oue al one's meals as at one's prayers. For the body must attend to its devotiops

jnst as much as the soul. Riick.-Canning rogue! You ought to know that great men do not

sit long at tuble. When one has such a magnificent skull as you. Pel-What! The matter in point now is my stomach, not my

skull --All the skull does ferihal, is to lend it a mouth. I had but short commons on the road, and there's not 100 much to eat in this house though they have given me at length a roast leg of mution, a ham, three sausages and six pancakes. There's sull some of them lest and they arc by no means to be depised.

Riick. Very well. I'll let you go immediately. Only sell me quickly is young Mr. Von Hellstern a lady?

Pet.- A lady? How shonid I kpow that?
Riick.- Have you never seen him in woman's rlothcs ?

Pet.-Oh yes! He generally wore a white dress and a traig as long as one of my mothers sheets with which he used to sweep the stairs. I was very glad when he left it off, for I irod upon ii twice, and each time fore a hole in it large enough for you to put your head through.

Riick.–So then she really is a womap? Wbat's her name?

Pet.--Formerly when the gentleman used 10 sweep the stairs tbey called him Miss Von Hellstern. But we were scarcely outside of tbe gates before be buckled a sword ou—and I would not have advised any body then to hint that there was something wroug about him.

Riick.-- Is she really married to my son ?
Pet.-That I don't know.

Riik.--Come, come. It is very easy to see whether two people dre man and wife.

Pet.-How is one to see that? I often thought in the town #e have just come from, when I saw two people wory fond of each oiber that they certainly were and wile. And I was right too, but then he was not her husband, and she was not his wile.

Riick. But on the journey ? Did n't you belp them io.undress ?
Pet.-No, I was always drunk at night.
Rijck.-Were y't you at the marringe ?

Pet.-Now, look you, your bonour, I have been at a marringe, át is a lbjog I shall never forget as long as I live, for there is plenty to eat at a respecluble wedding. If therefore these two gen

nian

[ocr errors]

tlemen have married one another it must have been secretly in some, disi eputable corner.

Riick.- I see, my good fellow, you don't trust me still, you try to hide the rogue under the niask of simplicity. But you can't hide your skull. Those two hillocks are actual proluberances of wit.

Pet. That's the fault of the lame jade that threw me into the ditch yesterday with my nose in the dirt and my forehead on the knotly roots of a tree, Has the brute made a perfect wit of me?

Riick.–Well, well, I know nor-go along, go and finish your meal. But first send me my faitbful servaat Katzrabe aud Miss Von Hellstern.

Pet.—Take care, your honor, if you call him, Miss, he will call you an ass immediately-1 know it-he even called me one tbough we are the very best friends. But your Son (he scratches his nose) will do still worse (going) don'i iherelore remark any thing (as he opens the door.) There we bare it—the dog bas stole my mutton-Be off, you brule-wliat, growling at me! (exil.)

SCENE 3RD.

MR. Von RÜCKENMARK, SOLO.

The rogue won't speak out plainly. But it is no matter. I know well enough, heaven be praised, how to distinguish a female skull írom a male one. Let her only come here. I shall have it in a trice at the first touch. Suppose she really were a woman! what shall I do in that case ? she certainly has a well-developed organ for music and even composes very prettily. But still her skull is far from being so beautifully triangular as Miss Sturzwalds

SCENE 41.

Tuk PRECEEDING AND CAROLINE. Car.—What are your commands my dear Mr. Von Rückenmark?

Riick.—Let ns enjoy a quarter of an hour's chat about the ore gans. One so seldom meets with a thorough knowledge.

Car.–That I hope to acquire under your kind curlion.

Riick.--Your humble servant ! But what is your opinion? How is a female skull best distinguished from a inale one ?

Car.-(aside) What has put that into his head ? (loud) I'm too much of a beginner.

Riick.-I'll teach you that directiy. Apes bave a very remarkable organ, and women the same.

apes. What do

Car.-A great honor for onr,

- the fair sex. Riick.- Now one has only to consider in what things women most resemble

you think! Car.-:.Why really I have not yet compared these isso species of skulls with one another.

Rijck.--I have very often. We may say that apps are malicions, women are so also ; apes are fond of tit-bits and delicacies, so are women-apes are fond of peeping into looking glasses— imitate every thing--make play things of the most useful articles, and have a pleasure in demolishing them ;-all qualities which are also peculiar to the female sex.

Car.-A painier. who certainly does not ffaiter ! (aside.)

Riick.—But parily there are no organs for these propensities, parta ly, alas, they are all to be found upon men also.' We mus: iberefore search for such a quality as is exclusively confined to women and apes—and that is cau't you guess yet! The love of their offspring.

Car.- Positively ? hor acute!

Riick. If you like to examine bye and bye the apes, skulls in my collection you can't fail to observe a very largely developed projection behind: on the poll. This is only to be found on wonen and on these animals, consequently it is ihe love of their offspring

Car.-Excellent. Riick-By means of this we distinguish the heads of the two sexes, at the first glance. Permit me to point it out more precisely to you (offers to touch her heud.)

Car - thoroughly comprehend it.

Riick.- No, no! you may very easily confound it with the organ of ambition which lies above it,

Car.- Ambition I know well enough, I shall not be deceived by that.

Riick.—But the love of offspring, Sir, or perhaps Sir, will not deceive me. I beg agaių that you'll allow me.

Car.-Well then in the name of heaveu.

Riich.--(feels her head) Ho! ho! ho ! ha! ha! ha! They have done you jujustice my dear Mr. l'on Hellstern, great injustice.

Car.---How ?

Riick.---There's not so much love of offspring there as a cuckoo bas! And it really is a blessing that you are not

a woman lor [ just observe that you have a very large organ of destructiveness. You would certainly murder all your children.

Cur.---llow did you come by the idea that I could be a woman?

Rijck..--I tell you, you are not a woman. I must kuow better : I am quite convinced of it.

just

Car..--But the bare thonght ?

Rück. You have enemies, Mr. Von Hellstern, very spiteful once mies. I must tell you all about it. Some creature bas wrillen me an anonymous letter declaring that you were married to my son.

Car.---Silly falsebond!

Rijck. And that cunning jogue Peter Goodsheep strengthened my suspicions still more. He would have tļat be bad seen you ju womens clothes,

Car.---In all probability the tool spoke of my sister who is uncommonly like me.

Rijck.---l rather think it was one of bis roguish tricks.---He is a sly fellow---He has got it behund bis sars as thick as my fist, as ihey say ----or in other words he has a large organ of funning, which, as you know, lies behind the ears,

Car.---He knows extremely well how lo. conceal it.

Riirk.---That is the effect of the organ of representation.--- If the man had gone ou the stage he would have enchanted the public, in spite of the little. Roscius in England and London. But he does pot deceive me, God be thanked, nobody deceives me.

[blocks in formation]

Katz.---Your họnor has commanded

Riick.---Yes, my dear Katzrábe, I am going to give you a comruissiou winch will show how much confidence 1 place in your bonesty with your permission Mr. Yon Hellstern, do you think you can find Mr. Von Bombecks house, close to the red gate ?

Katz,---Oh yes.

Rick ---( Takes roulsous of gold out of the casket.) There, take these 2000 Louis-d'ors to old Mr, Vou Bombock, and bring back my bond. Do you understand me?

Katz.---Thoronghly: your honors commands shall be executed.

Car.---(Soflly) Be careful. If I don't deceive mysell, I bare seen that fellow taken up somewhere.

Rijck.--Ha! ha! ha! The man muy certainly be rather stąpid but he has not a vestige of the organ of belt, on the contrary, a really enormous organ of benevolence, Go my good fellow, go.

Katz.--. I wish your honor a long life (exil.)

Car.---Bui, for heavens sake, 2000 Louis-d'ors are no tride and 1 assure you it is ibe same scoundrel who was banished from our part of the country.

Riick. --You deceive yourself. The Prince might upon my pledged word, make bim his treasurer on the spot.

Car.–Be cautious, 1 beseech you ;---10 please me. Riick.---Why! you are but very slightly convinced of the infallibility of the science of crumiology.--To please you, bowever;--but it is quite unnecessary. (He goes to the door and calls) Katzrabo. wait a moment, my dear Goodsheep come here.

SCENE 6TH.

THE PRECEEDING AND PETER,

Pet ---1 am satisfied now---1 got the mutton avvay from the dog,

Riick.- Very good, Now be good as to aceoinpany my valet who is going somewhere to pay 2000 Louis-d'ors for nie. Pet ---Odds bobs and hail. That's a sight of money.

Riick,—Go with him and see what he does-afterwards you may drink a bottle of wine in the public house to my health.

Ruck.--Now go along together in the name of heaven.
Pet..-- (exit)

[ocr errors][merged small]

name.

Riick.- If that honest creature is only not offendeď at my sending some-one with him.

Car.–But Mr. Von Ruckenmark, is that blockhead to watch the crafty rascal ?

Riick.-Ah my dear Mr. Von. Hellstern, would that we were as clever as that sly Devil, who has proibing of the sheep about him but the

You remember that

that Mapeptius sketched out a project for rearing a noble race of men. Now he might bave certainly selected Peter Goodsheep. for the father of the race.

Car.-I have given you warning.

Riick.--Be, quite easy,—if I had no other cares-But my son, my son.

Car.-( Alarmed) what is the matter with him?

Riick. He has no wish to marry, from very natural causes it is true. I bad chosen Miss Sturzwald for bim, an amiable girl with a splendid organ of music. You must make her acquaintance. She is certainly not pretty - perhaps even a little ngly.--She is as ihin as a muămy and tias a bump on ber lek sboulder.-Bus

« PreviousContinue »