property to rich acquaintances, or to public charities, and leave nothing to their kinsmen but to weep? * Certainly their memory is not blessed; and the wealthy legatees accept while they despise. "Nil sibi legatum præter plorare suisque." CHAPTER XXV. FRIENDSHIP. FRIENDSHIP is an affectionate intercourse between persons in the main like-minded, and consists in an interchange of opinions and sentiments, and in a reciprocation of kind wishes and good offices. The friendship of a good man and a good woman has been strongly praised by wise observers. The one is the complement of the other. It is at the same time refining and invigorating, and has its highest development in marriage. Here, most of all, the duality of friendship passes into unity of thought and feeling.* "They seem to take the sun out of the world that take friendship out of life." In this one sentence Cicero has immortalised the praise of friendship. All men have need of friends, the rich that they may give, the poor that they may receive, the wise that they may teach, the ignorant that they may learn-all that they may communicate and interchange their stores of "Idem velle atque idem nolle, ea demum firma amicitia est.”— Sallust. Catil., 20. "De Amicitiâ," c. xiii. † Ετι δ' ἀναγκαιότατον εἰς τὸν βίον.—Arist. Eth., viii. I. I. thought and feeling, of knowledge and substance, with one another. The ancient philosophers maintained that the good only could be friends. The earnest tone of Cicero on this point is very striking: "It is virtue, virtue I say, that both wins friendship and preserves it."* Aristotle said that the bad did not rejoice in one another, except for the sake of some advantage or pleasure :† and whenever the ulterior object failed, the friendship was dissolved; whereas good friends were permanent in spite of change of circumstances. Guilty fear sees in a present comrade a future approver, and this explains why the wicked distrust each other, and try to bind themselves together by vows and oaths, and artificial engagements-poor substitutes for the cohesion of love and esteem. Richard III. and the Duke of Buckingham were friends, that the one might become king and the other constable; but as soon as their ends were attained, their friendship ceased. Buckingham rebelled, and was executed. Cæsar Borgia with his poisoned ring, and Pope Alexander VI. with his poisoned key, soon rid themselves of any inconvenient friends, when they had done with them. Men in humble position may often be valuable friends to those above them in station. And this is especially the case if these inferiors have been much influenced by Christianity. Wonderful it is how the Gospel can refine * Cic., De Amic., c. 27. Cf. also c. 5: "Hoc primum sentio, nisi in bonis amicitiam esse non posse." † Arist. Eth., viii. 4, 2, and passim. and polish a man. Out of the rough iron ore comes the fine polished steel. On the other hand, he that considers his origin, and understands the great community of human nature, will not be supercilious. He knows that the diamond is of the same material as the coal. It is the spirit of caste that can discern nothing great in a Christian of low degree, just as an ignorant man can discern nothing great in little stars, yet little stars are suns. The foremost requisite in friendship is that it should be genuine. We expect a friend to love us for ourselves, for our character, not for our money or our entertainments. Affection is the excellence of friendship, and it must exist on both sides. "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."* Now, if one profess friendship to us, and yet really only aims at some selfish object, he is not a friend. It was a rare compliment which Madame de Staël paid to her friend M. de Montmorency: "He only sought to do good to my soul." Still, if a friend is in difficulty, it is the very essence of friendship to help; and to be wanting at such a crisis would show that one was no friend. For what is a falsely-professing friend but a clock, whose hands point rightly on the dial-plate, but which never strike the time convenient to help you ? The great are apt rather to have favourites than friends. Few were ever more unfortunate in this respect than Edward II. The history of his attachment to Piers Gaveston and the Despensers was a touching warning to all * Prov. xviii, 24. future princes. Yet James I. did not read it, or read it to no purpose; and Queen Anne profited as little. The favourite is the cousin of the flatterer, and both are counterfeit friends. An acute observer has noticed that to be loved is akin to being honoured, and that friendship or the being loved is an object at which many aim. They therefore lay themselves open to flatterers, who profess to be their friends in order to gratify them.* Flattery is insincere and deceives; it cannot therefore exercise a beneficial and corrective influence. On the contrary, it is as injurious as its counterpart in the natural world. The honey-dew, sweet and clammy, fills the pores of the leaves on which it is deposited, and destroys them. In general it may be safely predicted that weak and short-lived will be that friendship which is saturated with flattery. History has preserved memorials of many noble friends, but perhaps none so touching and affectionate as one famous in Hebrew records. It is David who thus laments: "I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.” † A splendid instance of friendship was exhibited just before the execution of Lord Russell. His intimate friend, Lord Cavendish, did not desert him in his calamity, but offered to manage his escape by changing clothes with him, and remaining at all hazards in his place. Russell refused to save his own life by an expedient which might expose his friend to many hard * Arist. Eth., viii. 8, 1. 2 Sam. i. 26. |